The real world

Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T19:48:00.002-06:00

I have been asked by friends, what are you getting your husband for Valentine's Day? I hesitate, not sure how to answer. You see, not everyone views valentine's day like Gregg and I do.

Even from the beginning it was something simple for V Day. A card...dinner. No flowers, no expensive gifts to exchange. It was simple. It was nice. The reason?

I feel that you should show the person you love each day how special they are to you, not just one day a year. I was excited that Gregg shared the same perspective. He does things daily to show how much he loves and cares about me and the kids. He does not need 1 day each year to prove that.

He compliments me often, gives me flowers for no reason, or a hug just because. His daily love and support is ongoing throughout the year and not just for 1 day. So this year, when he gave me the Valentine's Day card that he gave me 5 years ago, it showed that he loves me so much he holds on to those cards and cherishes them. It shows that I hope the next 5 Valentine's Day is just like this one!

8 years

2009-09-11T11:14:00.003-05:00

I would say that the past 8 years have gone by very quickly. I'm sure that is because I didn't lose a loved one in the horrific attacks. I remember the day very clearly though, what I was doing and where I was when I heard that we ( the United States of America) was under attack!

Although I didn't loose anyone close to me I feel a deep ache and loss for those that did. Those that went to work that day just like any other day, not knowing they would not be going home to their families that night.

I have been watching the TV specials that they have on recapturing the events of that day and the days to follow. I watch with one eye open as I see the plane crash into the side of the tower, then fire and terror. Terror so great that people actually were jumping from the building thinking it was better then staying put.

Amung all the pain and anguish from that day I have found only one comfort. That day, God was allowed back in America. We have to be so careful now a days with separating church and school, but that day we were begging God for help. People holding their hands to the sky and asking for his help, comfort, and guidance.

And there was comfort, help, and guidance. There was unity amung a torn nation. There were people helping people, regardless of their race, sex, or any other biases they might have. Those were set aside, they were not important. Maybe for a brief moment it was how God sees us...people hurting, needing help regardless of who they are or how much money they have.

People there helping people, regardless of the cost.

I remember....I am thankful.

Back to school

2009-09-08T06:27:00.007-05:00

It seems like summer just started and today is now the first day of school. This year is a big milestone as Ty goes to middle school. I don't agree with the school district moving the 5th graders up with the 8th graders but I guess my opinion did not matter.

So today, my son, is going to middle school. I am happy and yet very sad. He is my baby, my first born. I love watching him grow and mature, taking the steps necessary to grow up. Sometimes failing or falling and I trying to help when needed but give him the tools to learn to help himself. It is a balancing act. Every instinct I have is to protect him from everything in the world that is bad but know that he needs me to teach him to survive in the world today.

Don't get me wrong...there are mama bear times where I will fight to protect him. But today, I can't and have to watch him get on the bus with all the big kids and go to middle school.

Maddy is one of the older kids in the school this year. I am sure it doesn't make it any easier on your first day but at least she has been there and knows where everything is. She is also my baby, my last baby. She is growing up too quickly and I see a lot of myself in her. She has a twinkle in her eye and an inquisitive nature. She is full of life and loves every minute of it. She is growing up and wanting to do things for herself. She loves clothes and dressing up, making sure she looks "just right". Her laugh can make me laugh and her smile makes me smile.

To both of my kids on their first day of school...I love you and am thinking about you. I am sad that our summer time together is ending but know that you need to go back to school, learning and growing...and I will be there, every step of the way!!!

Meal Time ideas

2009-09-01T21:01:00.002-05:00

I do not like meal time. It is something that usually sneaks up on me each day. I think it is due to the fact that we eat the same things over and over again. I am in desperate need of some new ideas...

I am asking that you send me either as an email or add it as a comment, your favorite mealtime recipe. This would be so great and I would love to try some new recipes!!

Thanks, I will then post the ones the kids loved the most!

Signs that I am getting older...

2009-08-30T16:10:00.004-05:00

I was always anxious to get older...seemed as though "older" people had more fun, got to do what they wanted to do, when they wanted to do it.

Now that I am "older" I would really like time to slow down. I find myself longing for more time with family and friends, wanting to share as many memories and good times as we can together. This has always been important to me but seems that in light of recent events even more important.

Here are a couple of pictures that prove I am getting older...

Maddy after getting her braces...round 1

Ty playing football

They grow up fast, and prove I am getting older!

The day my world changed

2009-08-24T08:53:00.004-05:00

It started 7 months ago, I had a breast reduction. I was ecstatic to say the least to have this procedure done. I had long been uncomfortable and held back by being well endowed and now I was going to be able to do so much more. The procedure went off without major complications and I was well on the road to a happier life.

Fast forward to my 4 month recheck appointment. I was a little nervous as I had noticed a small lump. It was a very quick exam as she was very busy that day. I remember being nervous when explaining that I had found a lump and could hear my voice cracking as I spoke. No physical exam, but a reassurance that sum lumps were normal.

I walked out with a small reassurance but still with questions. I let it go and thought that she wasn't concerned so why should I be. During the next 3 months I noticed the lump, it was larger, more noticeable. I found that I was noticing it more. I questioned why I would notice it more now, shouldn't it be going away? But again, I did not want to make a mountain out of a mole hill. It was odd, though, it was a very different lump then anything else I could feel.

2 months later I went in for my annual paps test. I had a feeling during the breast exam that I would be questioned about the lump. I did not however, ever expect the following 3 weeks. Before she could even start the exam I told her about the reduction surgery and that I was told that "lumps" were normal. I am not sure if I wanted to reassure myself or what.

After the exam she expressed the need to get dressed so we could talk. I felt a know growing in my stomach. I knew what she wanted to talk about. I was not ready to talk about it. She expressed her concern about the specific lump. She explained that it was very different then any other lumps that she encouraged me to make another appointment with my surgeon, "just to be sure".

I left with my head spinning. So many different thoughts...could this be something? was she wrong? had I ignored something that could now be serious? I called my husband and let him know I was on my way home. He asked how everything went...I didn't know what to say, how could I tell him that it wasn't fine, that she was "very concerned" and that now I was becoming very concerned. Instead I downplayed it explaining that she wanted me to go back to the surgeon for an evaluation. I went on to explain that it was nothing, no big deal. I didn't want him to worry, but at the same time I wanted to scream. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning...

I called the clinic the next morning thinking that I would be able to get in that day. It was important so I couldn't imagine that I would have to wait. The voice on the other end of the phone said, "She can see you next week". Next week? What do you mean, I need to be seen today? The lady on the phone explained that she would only be able to see me next week. So I had to wait.

So for the next week when talking to my mom, sister, or even my husband, we talked about how it was probably no big deal...that this is just routine and that it would all be fine. But being in the health field, I knew that there was a chance. I could rationalize why it was no big deal, but the fact was...it was getting bigger and no medical reasoning that I could come up with would rationalize that.

The day of my appt came. I was very pre-occupied but when talking to anyone about it...it was no big deal, just routine. I don't know if I thought the more I said it, the more I would want to believe it. Truth is, I was scared. I was scared out of my mind. I have been relatively healthy, my family has been relatively healthy. How would we deal with this?

I waited in the waiting room impatient, unsure of pretty much anything. She called my name and the next 30 minutes seemed to go by in slow motion. A really good friend of mine had insisted on accompanying me to my appt. I think she knew how nervous I was deep down and how hard I was fighting to not show it. She waited in the waiting room as I walked back to the exam room.

I changed and waited again for the surgeon. She came in and examined me. I explained how it was larger and that the other physician was concerned. After the exam, she said, "I think we need to biopsy it". I could not keep the tears back any longer, they rolled down my cheeks without hesitation. She half smiled, and said it would be alright. I'm not sure if I remember much after those words. Everything went pretty foggy. She said to wait there and another person would come in and schedule it. I thought to myself, great...why couldn't you just do it now, why do I have to wait, I have already waited a week for this appt. So I composed myself the best I could and waited for the scheduler to come in.

She said, "I can do a week from Thursday". (now my appt was on a Monday so 10 days from then). Thursday, do you have anything earlier, I asked?? No, otherwise I have one 3 weeks from today, she said. I said I would take the earlier appt and she gave me the necessary paperwork and she left.

I walked back to the waiting room and told my friend that we could go. I had a lump in my throat, and could not find the words to tell her what just happened. I knew that she already knew, she had sensed it...so she didn't say anything. Finally I was able to muster the words, I need to have it biopsied. She simply said, okay and we left.

I got in my car and tried to figure out how to tell my husband...my sister...my mom?? I couldn't even say the word biopsy without tears welling up in my eyes, how would I explain it? I felt sick, an overwhelming feeling of nausea flushed through my system that I knew would not pass anytime soon. I made the call to my husband, and then to my sister and mom. I told them about the biopsy and followed it with, "I'm sure it will be okay". I did not want anyone to worry. But inside I was terrified.

The next 10 days were probably the hardest days of my life. I was filled with so many emotions that it was hard to think straight. It was a big purple elephant in the room, no matter where I went or what the topic of conversation was about. It was always on my mind. The daily trials and tribulations that should have not been a big deal, seemed to add so much more weight on my shoulders. They became big issues. The car breaking down twice that week made me want to shout, "really do I have to deal with this also, don't I have enough to deal with?"

The kids came home and after tucking both of them in, I went to check on each one to make sure they were sleeping. I remember sobbing, thinking that I might not have the opportunity to see them grow up, see them graduate, get married, have their own children. I realized my own mortality and that I would not always be around. But not yet, I hoped and prayed...

I had to be strong during the day, no talk of what was going on or my feelings about it. Life went on as normal...right? For most everyone, yes. I know that my husband, sister/brother and mom/dad, thought about it. There support was my anchor. It gave me the strength, hope, and assurance that it would be okay, no matter what. I prayed...alot. They prayed...alot.

The day of the procedure came. I was getting ready to leave the house and my daughter asked where I was going. I smiled and said, I just have a doctors appt, no big deal. The drive to the outpatient procedure center was long. The nauseated feeling in my stomach that had been there for the past 10 days was now so strong that I thought if I would have eaten it would not have stayed down. Apprehension of the outcome and what the procedure entailed loomed over me like a storm cloud that would not go away.

The procedure was more invasive then I thought. It was not just a needle biopsy but where they opened up one of the previous incisions from the reduction went in to cut out a piece of the lump, cauterize, and stitch it up. It was painful. I was left with physical and emotional pain beyond what I had ever felt.

Then...you wait some more...a week before pathology came back.

Thanking God, the results came back negative. Those were probably the sweetest words I have ever heard. A weight so large had been lifted off of my shoulders that could not be described by anyone who has not been through it. I have never appreciated my friends and family for the endless support and prayers that I received during the darkest part of my life. It was their unconditional love that made it bearable. Easy, no, but bearable...yes.

It has been almost a week since getting the fantastic news. My outlook has changed since the ordeal. I am so thankful to all of the people who supported me but mostly...I thank God. Each day is truly a gift and you don't know when it might be taken away.

My Daughter

2009-03-22T19:34:00.002-05:00

To Maddy on her 8th birthday...

Before I knew your name
Before I saw your eyes
Your chin and your nose
Before I counted your fingers and toes
I asked Heaven for someone
Wonderful as you
And every prayer and dream came true
I dreamed of you
Before I knew your name!!

You are so special that words can not explain..I love you soo much

I want only the best things in life for you.

Happy birthday sweet girl!

Great Response

2009-03-02T05:48:00.004-06:00

I received this posting in an email the other day and thought that it was too great not to share. Kids are not easy, they require work, attention, and love that cannot easily be measured.

Gone but not forgotten

2009-02-24T20:11:00.003-06:00

It has been a while since I have posted anything on here. I have not forgotten about writing here, but have found the days filling up with work, work-outs, and kids activities and less time to sit and think.

Sometimes I think that it is a good thing, that there is not enough time to sit and ponder over every detail in life, but other times reflection is great (time permitting!)

I have found myself reconnecting with many old friends on Facebook. It has provided me a way to catch up with many friends I have lost contact with over the years. It has been fun to see where everyone is in their lives and how much or little people have changed. I wonder how people think that I have changed??

I have decided to enter a sprint triathlon this June. It seems kindof crazy but it will allow me to actually train for something, rather then going to the gym just to go. It is a 1/4 mile swim, 14 mile bike, and 3.2 mile run. All seem doable separate, it's going to be doing them consecutive that will be challenging. I have made it up to biking the 14 miles followed by a mile run. I guess that is pretty good, but feel frustrated with my swimming! I will keep you updated.

I promise that I will keep this updated more often!!!

if you only knew

2009-01-27T14:17:00.004-06:00

Tyler,

If you only knew the love I had for you when you were born was unimaginable to a first time mother. But even more, that the love I have for you now is so much greater then it was that day.

If you only knew that I would go into your room at night to check on you, to make sure you were breathing and then go back in 1 more time...just to check.

If you only knew the fear that I had when you first started walking. That I followed you around to make sure that you did not fall, but if you did, I would pick you up. That the tears that came with the bumps and bruises along the way, broke my heart.

If you only knew how proud I was when you said your first word, or discovered something new, or completed a new task.

If you only knew that as you have grown from a baby, to a child, to now a young man that my love and admiration grows for you everyday.

If you only knew that your smile alone can change a bad day to the best day in the world.

If you only knew that watching and caring for you as you grow is not only a priveledge but the best job in the world.

If you only knew that the differences in our opinions have given me insight and made me a better person.

If you only knew that every time I get to sing your bedtime song and say prayers are moments that I will cherish forever.

If you only knew that I would give anything to make sure that you grew up happy and knowing how much you are loved.

If you only knew how hard it is for me to watch you grow up, and not help you when you need to learn by trial and error. To watch you make mistakes and suffer consequences. To watch you hurt is the worst pain I have ever felt. To know that I cannot fix something for you is the hardest thing ever.

So on your 10th birthday, son, know that you are the light of my life. You are one of God's precious gifts that I have had the priveledge to raise and call my own. I hope you know how much I love you and that love grows more everyday. UNCONDITIONALLY.

I love you...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tyler and I 10 years ago

Tyler and I now

4 years ago...

2009-01-19T20:28:00.002-06:00

4 years ago tonight I was in a hotel room, in Key West. Getting ready for the "big day!". We got down there on Friday night and spent both Friday and Saturday having fun and playing at the bars. Sunday came and went, and so did Monday. Tuesday, however, was a very different day. Tuesday was the day I was going to get remarried. Yes, I had said more then once that I would never get remarried, but it was different. HE is different.

Tuesday morning we headed to the court house to get our marriage liscense. Everything was set. We met one last time, to finalize the last details, with the minister who would be marrying us.

He decided that he wanted to get tattoos while we were down there. Something symbolic, something between just us...

I headed to a beauty salon and had my hair curled by an older cuban woman who did not understand a lot of English, yet she smiled and understood the importance of the day.

After getting my hair done, we headed to the tattoo parlor. He had done a lot of research about this shop and we went to put a down payment and get an appointment. He met the man who would be doing his tattoos, trying to explain the symbolizism of them, they worked all the details out and we were ready to head back to the hotel.

Only then did we realize that we were supposed to be meeting the minister in 30 minutes.

30 MINUTES! to get ready for this special day...to get back to the hotel, shower, dress, makeup, and get to the beach....

We got to the beach, and the photographer and minister were there. We took the pictures as we headed to THE SPOT...OUR SPOT.

The sun was setting, the music was playing and it was just us, on the beach. Although, I don't remember the exact words that she spoke, I remember his face, the way he looked, and the way he looked at me. There was so much love in his eyes and acceptance of not only me, but my children as well.

I never thought I would love him more then I did that day. It was truly perfect, but looking at him today, and knowing what we have accomplished together, I love him so much more.

He supports me in everything I do, has unconditional love for me, and his willingness to help me through everything is amazing. I cannot express how much that day meant, but know that each day I live with him is a gift.

Thank you, Gregg, thank you for all that you each day. For always making me feel so special and loved. 4 years ago I said I do and I would do it all over again! I am so happy that we will grow old together! I LOVE YOU!!

Holiday Baking

2008-12-14T14:28:00.016-06:00

We had our annual holiday baking day a couple of weeks ago. My sister and her kids, and my mom plan a few different holiday cookies and then bake all day long (or until we drop). This year we made our usual rolled out, pecan bars, and waffle iron. We did try a new macarron recipe that BOMBED but found a different one and worked beautifully!

After baking Evan and Gregg made it home from work and we had dinner and opened gifts from each other. It was a very fun evening, but I was quite exhausted by bedtime!!

Here are some different pics from the day. The kids really helped out with making the cookies this year and it was fun to make it a teaching moment!

If you serve it they will come

2008-12-14T14:26:00.003-06:00

This year I got to host Thanksgiving. I really like serving big meals and found that if you do serve food, people will come... 31 in fact! It was a very fun day, even though I was getting over a cold, the smell that fills the house, the excitement of the kids, and being with family, thats what the holidays are all about!

Papa, Mimi and the grandkids

All the cousins

It's been a while

2008-12-14T14:06:00.008-06:00

It has been quite a while since I have updated this blog. I guess the few minutes that I have had of spare time, I have tried to relax and enjoy the season. Instead of trying to throw the past month into 1 post, I will try and catch up on blogging about life.

Tyler got to walk the fields this past fall with Gregg, Dad, and Evan. This was a very big deal for him and me...

To him...it means one step closer to the responsibility of a gun and getting to go hunting with the group, not as a walker, but one of them.

To me...it means that he is one step closer to being grown up. This past year he has matured and grown up so much. Although he is still a boy and acts silly sometimes, in the things he says and does, he is getting older.

To Gregg and My Dad...it means they are getting ready to have another member in their hunting party. Another generation to share in the closeness and create memories that Ty will want to share with his kids!

Here are some pics from the day.

Ty getting ready to go

The boys as they were getting ready to leave

Ty with the "headless pheasant" (this story was by far his favorite to tell!)

Gregg having the pleasure of cleaning the birds so we could have dinner! (The girls thought that this was the grossest thing ever, but stood and watched the whole thing)

Gregg and Ty after hunting!

Happy Election Day, thank goodness it is almost over!

2008-11-04T09:03:00.001-06:00

Here is a little chicken humor for this Election Day. I will definately be happy when I don't have to see bickering amung adults for every commercial!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to cross the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because he was heading back to Scranton.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Halloween 2008

2008-11-02T08:32:00.002-06:00

Halloween this year was a blast. We had planned to have the neighbors over for dinner and then we were all going out trick or treating. Then another neighbor had all the kids and parents over for after snacks. It started with BBQ sandwiches at our house. I figured if the kids were all together we would have a better shot of them eating something. Then Gregg had gotten the trailer (modified it with wheels on the ramp, lights, and hay) and 4 wheeler and we were off for a fun ride. We ended the night laughing and eating at Lori's (another neighbor)house. It was a very fun night. We all dressed up and had a blast!

View Photo Slideshow

Fall Traditions

2008-10-13T07:35:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday we went to the Apple Orchard. This has been a fall tradition for probably the past 5-6 years. We go, pick apples, and then pick out our pumpkins. Each year they seem to add something new that the kids want to do. It is always fun and is something the kids look forward to.

Here are some pics from this years apple orchard...

Where Was God On 9-11

2008-09-11T10:08:00.002-05:00

This is something that KTIS is reading today to remember the attacks of 9-11. Please remember and pray for not only the families that lost loved ones but a country that needs GOD now more then ever...

Meet Me In The Stairwell

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say ‘Good-Bye’.
I held his fingers steady as he dialed, I gave him the peace to say,
‘Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is ok…. I am ready to go’. I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children.
I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn’t coming home that night. I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to me for help.
‘I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!’
I said ‘Of course I will show you the way home – only believe in me now’.

I was at the base of the building with the priest ministering to the injured and devasted souls.
I took him home to tend to his flock in heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in ever seat, with every prayer.

I was with the crew as they were overtaken.
I was in the hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas, Kansas, London. I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense me?

I want you to know that I saw every face.
I knew every name, though not all know me.

Some met me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought me with their last breath.

Some couldn’t hear me calling to them through the smoke and flames.
‘Come to me…. This way…. Take my hand’.
Some chose for the final time to ignore me.
But, I was there.

I did not place you in the tower that day.
You may not know why, but I do.
However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for me?
September 11, 2001 was not the end of the journey for you.

But someday your journey will end.
And I will be there for you as well.

Seek me now while I may be found.
Then, at any moment, you know you are ‘ready to go’.
I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

Author Unknown

Long road, BIG mess

2008-09-10T08:57:00.003-05:00

We have been waiting, researching, and deciding for quite a while on whether we want to put in an inground pool. I have done more then my fair share of research about them. Types...cost...usage...on and on...and FINALLY we decided to do it.

I began getting bids and talking to more people then I have ever wanted, but we decided on Nassau Pools in Elk River to install it. I wish that deciding that would be the end of it but with that decision came many, MANY more.

For the past 2 weeks we have had multiple people and companies outside and inside of our house. Pool guys, electricians, gas guys, and concrete guys. All of who need to be coordinated just SO in order to complete each task.

This is a true statement since currently the pool is in (and filled) the gas line has been hooked up and inspected. The electrician was just able to finish his grounding of rebar yesterday and now today am waiting on the electrical inspection before being able to go forward with the concrete.

In addition, we have to put the retaining wall up around the pool (because the pool is about 3 ft above ground due to a high water table)before the fence is installed. We currently have our yard fenced in but the city code requires a 5 ft fence (we of course have a 4 ft).

The front yard looks like a war zone. There are big divets from the heavy trucks and machines going back and forth and the new driveway even cracked under the pressure. (yes, one more thing to get replaced and coordinated!)

The back yard is even worse. It is mostly dirt and then a big pile of pool. it looks pretty strange having a large pool take up most of one end of the yard but come next summer will be looking pretty good.

We should hopefully finish the retaining wall and the fence this year and then next year worry about the rest of the landscaping and resodding the yard. It has been quite an adventure but we are hoping to heat it up and use it a couple of times before having to shut it down for the winter!!

I will post some pictures of the process. It was very fun to watch the precision of the building and constructing of the pool.

New Year

2008-09-03T07:35:00.002-05:00

Yesterday marked the first day of the new school year. It seems crazy that it is already the beginning of school and going to be fall. Summer has gone by way too fast and now the weather is changing and becoming fall-like.

Although, I love fall and all of the colors on the trees and the crisp morning air I am longing for a little more summer this year....I will have pictures of why to come.

For now, my kids are another year older and becoming more adult like each year. It is fun to see them change and get back into the routine of school life!! Here is a pic from the bus stop yesterday before school!!

THE YEAR 1908

2008-08-11T07:37:00.000-05:00

THE YEAR 1908

Show this to your children and grandchildren

THE YEAR 1908

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1908.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :

************************************
The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower

The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had

NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo. ONCE A MONTH???

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea

Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write

.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

I WONDER HOW MANY NOW..

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least

One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

Now I forwarded this from someone else without typing

It myself, and sent it to you and others all over

Canada & U.S.A

Possibly the world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100

I still got it...

2008-08-03T19:30:00.002-05:00

This weekend was the annual cousin's reunion at my great aunt's lake house in Monticello. It was great to see everyone there and the kids were very excited to go on the boat and tube.

Ty was out for quite a while with the "boys" tubing and having a blast while Maddy stayed on shore jumping on the trampoline and swimming around by the dock.

It was getting later and I was ready to go when one of the kids said, "Mom, I thought you were going to try skiing?" Unfortunately, Pete heard (the boat driver) and before I knew it we were off.

My mom, Maddy, Megan, and Kelly were in the boat with Pete and I as we started off for the "calm" part of the lake. Realistically there was no thing as the calm part as there were many, many boats and jet skis out that day.

As we were getting to our destination, Maddy must have asked a dozen times, "Are you nervous, Mom...Are you scared?" I had skied many, many times growing up but that was probably 15 years ago...AT LEAST!!

I was nervous as I jumped off the boat into the water and put on my skis. Would I be able to get up? If I did, then what???

I am happy to report that I was able to make it up on the FIRST try and even though I fell a little later, I still got it....

I was left!!

2008-07-25T13:53:00.002-05:00

I was left...

Now I am alone...

It is like a bad break-up all over again...

I don't know where to turn, don't know where to go...

Things are starting to look bad, REAL bad.

I have taken matters into my own hands and now I need help.

We have all been there. "There" meaning without a hairdresser. My lady who has cut and colored my hair for the past 3 years is gone. They won't tell me where she went of course because they want to keep my business. Little do they know that I won't be back. The reason I stayed at the salon was for her. She was great. I did not have to worry about getting my hair cut, or what color it would be when she was finished, but rather looked at the time as pure enjoyment because I always felt great when leaving.

She knew my style, knew what I would like and what I would not like. And then it was done. I tried to go on as long as I could, even giving myself a trim (not a good idea), but it was finally time. I had to move on.

This is not an easy task. I have had plenty of bad haircuts in my days and was not looking forward to the search again. So I had a gift card to a salon that I am not fond of. I have been there in the past but they seem to snotty for me. So I decided to suck it up and make an appointment.

I had no idea who (besides a name) was going to be cutting my hair. Was this her first haircut? How long has she done this? Was it a good or a bad sign that she had openings the same day???

As she called my name I felt nervous. I walked back and introduced myself. She took my hair out of the messy bun it has lived in for the past 3 weeks and started to ask questions. I tried to keep a positive attitude and thought that I would just get a trim, nothing big, noone would be able to tell.

We shampoo'd and made small talk, she seemed nice. I asked her how long she had been cutting hair and it reassured me when she said over 7 years. She started to cut and we talked some more. She was very pleasant.

I ended up liking my hair when I left and had even told her about my other stylist leaving. She chuckled and reassured me that my feelings were very normal and alot of people feel that way when their stylists leave.

I left feeling better about the haircut and think I might even go back...

....could it have been this easy to find a replacement???

....she did tell me not to cut my own hair anymore (even if someone else cut it!)

I guess a hair stylist I am not!!

We're OFF!!

2008-07-19T21:33:00.002-05:00

EARLY (and I stress early) tomarrow morning we will be leaving on our annual trip to the Wisconsin Dells. This will be our 5th year going. The kids look forward to it every year and have been counting down the days until we leave.

With much preparation, we are ready! We have many people going so it is always fun!!

More pics and stories to follow...

A little Monday humor!!

2008-07-14T05:42:00.000-05:00

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike

English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is

masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups,

male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
computer'

should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give
four

reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the

Feminine gender('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is

Incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine

('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a

Little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Tough lessons

2008-07-07T21:32:00.002-05:00

Tonight Ty is learning a hard life lesson. Their baseball team lost their playoff game sending them to the constellation bracket. Ty was very disappointed. It was very hard for me to see him that disappointed knowing that I wanted to fix it but couldn't and even if I could, he needed to learn to how to lose.

To Ty:

I am so sorry that you lost tonight. It is very hard for me to see you disappointed. Know that I am very proud of you. That you played great both hitting and out in the field. And even if you had a bad game or if you would have struck out, I would still be so proud of you and love you.

Part of any activity is having a winner and a loser. Winning is great and makes us feel good, but we also need to know how to lose. Losing gives us the empathy that we need for others. It gives us humility to know that we are human and can't always win. There will always be a winner and a loser and it is crucial in growing up that we have compassion and sensitivity not only when we win, but when we lose as well.

Sometimes there are bad calls. Umpires are human too and make mistakes. It happens. Sometimes these calls can determine whether we win or lose the game. Fair, no it is not, but again...we all make mistakes. They have a hard job too.

In the end, I just want you to have fun and give your best always. Know that Gregg, I and everyone else supports and loves you and that you will NEVER disappoint us. That it does not matter what your friends think because at some point in their life, they too, will lose at something.

So I am sorry for the loss, but know that I am very proud of you!! I love you....mom

A do-it-yourself weekend

2008-07-07T16:54:00.005-05:00

The weekend before the 4th we decided to lay down new flooring. Actually, I decided and talked Gregg into it. My thoughts are: to get the house ready for an inground pool. Yes, I said inground pool. That is my dream and right now what I am working my butt off for.

So we finished the bathroom on the main level where the family room and patio door is. The problem was that we could not use the patio door because it came in on the carpet. (I guess we could TECHNICALLY use it but I did not like the idea of having to shampoo the carpet monthly)

We bought laminate flooring that looks like tile. Originally I wanted to tile the floor but it would be too cold in the winter, so laminate it was...

I watched a video on the "do it yourself" internet site that showed how to lay the flooring. Easy enough...right?!?! The guy on the internet even did it in like 30 minutes!! EVEN BETTER!!

So Saturday rolls around and we rip up half of the carpet, scrape the floor where the pad was glued down and start to lay the flooring. It went pretty good but it was NO 30 minutes!!

Here are the pictures of the progress through the finished product!! Over all I am very happy with the flooring and it brings us 1 step closer to the pool!!

This is after the carpet was pulled up and the padding for under the floor was laid.

Soccer Star

2008-07-07T16:33:00.003-05:00

Maddy is playing soccer for the 3rd year in a row. She loves it. It has been great to be able to watch her get better each year. She has scored many goals this year as well. Our soccer star!!

So big

2008-06-28T08:57:00.003-05:00

We went and got the kids' pictures taken yesterday at a new place. Ty was less then thrilled and actually had to be told he would have something taken away if he did not smile. Apparently the lady taking the pics told us it is just the age. He smiled all the way to the car, though, when we were done. Here's one of the pics.

This pic shows me how big they are actually getting and I love it because it shows Maddy's true personality. She is so loving and giggles just like that!

Building the deck

2008-06-23T10:43:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday we spent over at my mom and dad's helping them with their deck. The kids wanted to help and we all spent quality time screwing down floorboards!! Can't wait to sit on it and have a margarita.

Some random pics

2008-06-20T17:57:00.004-05:00

Tyler (our baseball star)

He is a great pitcher and can really throw fast. It is fun to see him get better each year.

This is Ty, Maddy, and our neighbor having a lemonade stand. It was during "friendly city days" so the garage sales were everywhere. It was nice because people actually drove down the culd-a-sac and the kids made $11.00!!

This is Ty at the end of the school year at their track and field day. They lost out to the girls at tug-o-war but looked like they had a blast.

This was Maddy at her track and field day. They had many stations to get through and she was completing the jump roping station. It was a fun day!!

The 2008 Darwin Awards go to....

2008-06-18T08:08:00.000-05:00

You've been waiting for them, so without further ado, here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he
ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it t
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their
hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue
workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him.

Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed
into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his
mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place (My choice for 1st place!)

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at
the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up,
and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.
The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent
autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7
different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M.
so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what
would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they
knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of
traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along
the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the
bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that
a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40
feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two
nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs
and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force
of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground
where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200
pounds of dung on top of him.

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.. 'Shit happens'.

THEY WALK AMOUNG US....

To my father and husband

2008-06-16T06:39:00.002-05:00

To my father on Father's Day....

Thank you for picking me up all the times I have fallen, kissing scrapped knees and wiping off dirt. Telling me that it will be okay and eventually the pain will end. Knowing that there will be additional pains throughout my life, you have stood beside me, picking me up, and telling me that eventually the pain will end.

Thank you for showing me right from wrong and giving me the strong values that I am showing my children each day. Though, sometimes I did not appreciate them at the time, I do now and know how important each one is.

Thank you for spending the endless nights reading me books, watching T.V. with me, playing games, the dances, and watching endless softball games. These times while short lived will forever be held close in my heart.

Thank you for the unconditional love you have shown to me every single day, not ever missing a chance or a moment to say, "I love you" or give a hug. I have known that no matter how big the mess I made, you would always still love me. (maybe not always be happy, but love me nonetheless)

Thank you for giving me the courage to try new things and be independent, yet knowing I can always call if I need help or feel like I am falling. You are able to put things in perspective and show that there are other options.

You have truly made me who I am today, and I hope that I can give just a small piece of that to my kids, I am very blessed!!

To my Husband on Father's Day....

Thank you for being you. You have the ability to make me laugh, even when I feel like crying. You know when something needs to be said, and when I just need you to be quiet and sit beside me.

Thank you for being my rock and my support. Life is not always easy, but with you by my side, I feel like I can do anything.

Thank you for giving your girls to me. This has been a big blessing and I am blessed to know each of them. They are so smart and loving and I know that this is from how you have raised and supported them throughout their lives.

Thank you for loving my children as if they were yours. You show them unconditional love and support just like your own. It can be a very difficult situation to bring 2families together but you have become their step-father with such grace.

I am thankful for each day spent with you and look forward to spending the rest of our days together. Thank you and Happy Father's Day!!

Way to go...

2008-06-06T14:32:00.002-05:00

Now that spring/summer has hit (at least activity wise, not weather) we are in full swing as far as activities go. Gregg is playing softball 2 nights a week and tournaments on the weekend. Tyler is playing baseball 2 nights a week and Madison just got done with gymnastics and will start soccer 2 nights a week.

Ironic enough all play on the same night once a week. Yep, Wednesdays. This past wednesday we went from Maddy's gymnastics to Tyler's baseball to Gregg's softball game. It was crazy but is fun to get to see everyone play.

I am amazed at how much I get into the kids sports when they are playing. This past Monday, though, I was shining as Ty hit a line shot over the right fielders head for a home run!!

Way to go Ty!!

The end...but another beginning

2008-06-04T08:05:00.002-05:00

Yesterday marked the end of another year of school. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing Tyler to his first kindergarten class. Now he has finished 3rd grade. Maddy has finished 1st grade.

They have both shown maturity and growing throughout the year. Their independence and personalities are developing and blossoming.

I am truly enjoying each of the kids and the new and exciting stages they are going through. Although I am sad that the end of a school year means they are getting older, I am excited to have the summer to spend with them. With a busy school year and sports/activities the true time spent with the kids was very decreased, but now we have the summer to hang out and spend time together.

I am very happy to have the flexibility in my job to be able to spend the time with the kids! Way to go kids, your hard work and perserverance has paid off for another year!

To my husband

2008-06-02T06:57:00.002-05:00

To my husband on his birthday (the day after really)...

Thank you for your unconditional love that you show me everyday. Just the simple fact that you are in tune with how I feel and my hopes and dreams. You daily make my life easier, not by me asking you to do something, but looking and knowing what to do that will help out.

You make me laugh. You have shown me how to not take life so serious and how to laugh at myself. Those little inside jokes that only you and I know, that provide a smile or a laugh.

You are my rock. When times have been tough and I get discouraged you have been there. Not necessarily to tell me everything will be alright, but to hold my hand and let me know that you are there. And if it doesn't turn out, we will move on and deal with it.

You are my best friend. I love and cherish every minute that we get to spend together and thank God daily that you are in my life. I can tell you everything, even my deepest thoughts and know that you will never judge me.

You are my soul mate. We share so many things in common that it is like a match made in heaven. I love you more each day and am very grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being you!!

Happy Birthday sweet baby!!

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T20:58:00.003-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mothers. This includes the traditional mother's and the untraditional mothers.

To my mother,

Words cannot express the level of gratitude that I feel. First, that I have you to give me advice and talk with daily. I know that it must be hard to have lost that with your own mother, but you are so special to me and to your grandchildren.

I now understand after having my own children how hard it is to love someone so much and only want to help them in everything they do, but know that you must stand back and let them go to stumble...and sometimes fall. I know from your ways that I, too, will be there to help pick up the pieces if they do fall and teach them to have faith...something better was meant to be.

Your faith and love have been a rock in my life, showing me that it will not always be easy but we will make it...day by day.

You have showed me that you can love so much that it sometimes hurts but that in the end it is the smiles and laughter amungst the children that make it all worth while.

That patience, hope, and love are mandatory and that putting your family first gives more joy then anything.

I hope that my children appreciate and love me as much as I love and appreciate you. I can only hope that I am half the mother that you have been to me!! Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do. I love you, mom!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

Kristi

2008-05-03T12:38:00.002-05:00

My friend Kristi will have been gone for 5 years on May 8th. Although she was only 34 when she died, she had a love for life like no one you have ever met. She was graceful and kind, she spoke her mind but never used words to hurt. The night she died a piece of me died as well. We had worked together in the ER and had become very good friends in a short period of time. The following is a letter that Dr. Jeff Ho had written about the night Kristi had died. She will be remembered by all of us and will forever hold a special place in our hearts.

Last Night by Jeff Ho, MD

Last night, while on duty, I had a glimpse of greatness. This was not in the will or courage of my patients. It was not in the brilliance or courtesy of my consultants. It was not in the organization of the institution in which I work. Rather, it was in the death of a co-worker.

This particular co-worker had been ill for sometime, bravely fighting a losing battle that everyone realized was drawing to a close. She had not worked a clinical shift in over a year but she was very much a member of our department family and not a day passed when she was not thought of or spoken about.

Last evening, in the midst of some 60 plus patients in our department, a call came through to our nursing station to pass on the information that our friend and colleague had just passed away. Our workplace mood became immediately somber. Tears were shed. Several co-workers received permission to leave the shift to be with the grieving family. Appropriately, a gloomy and overcast sky began to rain down on our corner of the world.

The charge nurse and I huddled briefly to plan and strategy to continue to staff our busy clinical areas even though we were down several key personnel and the mood of the moment really did not lend itself to the hard work of caring for the sick and injured. As if on cue, our EMS dispatch notified us of multiple critically ill patients destined for our hospital from several unrelated incidents.

When it was all over, we counted 8 critical patients that moved through our resuscitation area in under 90 minutes, all destined for either the operating room or the intensive care unit. I was amazed at how our short-staffed team rose to the challenge without complaint or question. The EMS system triaged appropriately. Nursing and physician staff worked without complaint or question. Ancillary staff multi-tasked without being asked. COnsultants appeared and disappeared on cue. Patients received excellent care. The system operated, as it should. Life carried on in the emergency department, even in the midst of the death of one of our own.

When I finished the shift I had some down time to contemplate what had just occurred. I was overwhelmed by the death of my friend, the fatigue of the late hour, and the stress of having just completed a busy shift. I was also in awe of what the shift had been able to pull off which was nothing short of managing a mini-disaster despite personal grieving of our friend. I feel fortunate to be in a profession that places the needs of others before its own and thrives during moments of crisis. In its own small way, it was a fitting tribute to our fallen co-worker. I will miss her, as will our whole department. I had a glimpse of greatness last night because of her.

----------------------------------

This story very well explains the dedication and drive that our ER staff has. This year's Race for the Cure tshirts will have this story on the back as a tribute to our co-worker and friend.

Kristi- we miss you everyday!!

Today

2008-05-01T19:21:00.001-05:00

Sometimes there are where you want to throw your arms up and say "I give up".

Today....was one of those days!

The Law of the Garbage Truck

2008-04-28T11:07:00.001-05:00

I received this email (very appropriate timing) and thought it was worth passing on!!

“The Law of the Garbage Truck”

I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Hard Week

2008-04-20T13:11:00.003-05:00

With it being Sunday I rejoice in the new week. This past week has been quite a doosey. There have been sick kids, doctor appts, long work hours, and deaths in the family and with friends.

With the deaths come the surreal knowledge of knowing that your time here on earth is limited. That we are not as invincible as we once thought, as you finally start to understand the circle of life (and death).

And after this week I started to somewhat feel sorry for myself, thinking, "man I have had a rough week...I have had hard crosses to bear". But during church today I know that there are other people who have harder crosses to bear and worse weeks then mine. I am not perfect. Not a perfect person, parent, daughter, sister, or friend. But I am trying...and working...

And with a new week, a new attitude, a positive start!!

busy

2008-04-13T14:00:00.002-05:00

We have been crazy busy in the past 2 weeks. Last week was my birthday and also my brother's. We celebrated by having a BBQ (in 35 degree weather) at the house and everyone came over. It is always great to have all the family together and the kids love playing.

This past week Gregg got into a fight at work (I know it is not uncommon but I hate it happening). He managed to make it out with only a quarter size amount of skin missing from his elbow and wrist. It makes me so nervous to hear that he not only got into a fight but that he was injuried in the process. In his job, there have been guys that have been permanently injured doing this.

With softball season fastly approaching Gregg also started looking at different jerseys. The newest jerseys this year are the dry wick jerseys. The only problem is they are 100% polyester and if you screen print on them then whereever you have screen printed the dry wick does not work and will stick to you. The only way around it is to use a process called sublimation. After doing some research Gregg wanted to invest in this process and do it himself. We found the supplies and this next week we will start looking at how this is done. I am very excited and he seems excited as well.

There will be more to come about the name of the new company and some samples of what it can do! It should be very cool!!

A great idea

2008-03-31T09:06:00.004-05:00

Anyone who has gone through a divorce and has children understand how difficult it can be at times to register the kids for just about anything. (especially in joint custody situations).

Questions like: What address do you use? What phone numbers to give? Who should be the emergency contact? What emails to use? etc etc...

At first, we tried to write down all of the information...both sides. It consumed all of the paper and then some. It was difficult and tedious. I think it stemmed from the fact that we were both equally involved in the kids lives (extracurricular activities and all) and wanted to make sure that it was not only noticed but that we were contacted with information as well.

Like I said, this was in the beginning. Soon after when the kids started school we decided that they would be registered for school under my address and then anything else they would have their dad's address. We would always give both phone numbers and emails to ensure proper notification.

After the ex had a baby with S and the school district split the boundaries we decided to have the kids registered under their address for school. This would help so that the kids could take the bus to and from the ex's house so S would not have to wake the baby to get the kids. It also allowed them to stay at the school they started in since my address was going to the new school.

The paperwork was still tough to get all the emails and phone numbers in the form but after reading THE DHX blog we got an idea to make it easier. They have a single email address that is given out and then it forwards the email to each of their personal emails. BRILLIANT!!

So I set up a general email for the kids and then added my email to it. S did the same, and IT WORKS!!

When signing Maddy up for soccer I added the single email address and the confirmation was received by both of us at our personal emails!!

What a great idea! Thanks DHX! It makes it just ONE step easier!!

Restaurant chaos

2008-03-29T15:01:00.003-05:00

The kids and I went out for dinner last night. Their first choice, of course, was Benihana. After we found out they did not have any reservations they settled for McDonald's playland. Now I can count on one hand the times I have been to McDonalds since the New Year, especially for lunch or dinner. So we went.

The McDonald's was packed full of people. It took forever and almost all of the children's patience to wait for our food so we could go sit down. They stood next to me, waiting...patiently. We talked for what seemed like hours and then the food came.

As we found a table in the playland there was a mom and 2 son's sitting in a booth across from us, and many other people scattered.

We ate and talked some more and then something caught Maddy's eye. She sat quietly at first, just watching, and then read the sign. The sign read, "48 inches tall or less".

The significance, you ask?

Picture this...a small boy (I would guess 18 months old) entering into the playland tunnel. A man (maybe the father....maybe not) in a tank top, jeans with chain to pocket, and no socks entering the playland behind the small child.

Maddy, being the black and white..what is fair queen, pipes up and says, "He can't go in there...he is breaking the rules". I agreed as the play structure shook as he climbed through it after his son. I tried to talk about other things to get Maddy to wait until he was out before entering.

Finally both kids were off and playing in the tunnels. As I sat and watched the kids the mother at the other table had one of her son's eating and the other one refusing to sit still long enough to eat. She must have asked him and even given him 10 warnings to come and eat. Finally he sat in the booth and grabbed his happymeal toy and started to scream. BLOODY MURDER. I watched in amazement as the mother said nothing. I watched at other people stared at her wondering when she was going to ask the child to stop.

BUT NOTHING

It went on for what seemed like years, reality probably 45 sec. A long 45 seconds.
And then he was off again to play, never eating.

About 10 minutes went by and the mother gave the kids a warning that they would be leaving in 5 minutes.

Another 10 minutes went by and again she said, "5 minutes until we leave".

Finally about 5 minutes later I had the kids come down and we were getting ready to leave. (realize I said it once!!) We gathered up our garbage and were walking out as she was giving them the 5 minute warning!!

I had to laugh to myself in what chaos it was and was so thankful that my children acted well behaved. I was very proud of them.

And now I know why we won't be going back to that McDonalds!

True Friendship

2008-03-26T10:17:00.001-05:00

I got this as an email and thought it was kindof funny and somewhat true!

True Friendship Is

None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good,

But never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true
friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-

Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad

like a spider monkey.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must
Be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
Much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7.When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well

I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

'because you are my friend'.

Happy Birthday, Rosey!

2008-03-23T19:32:00.003-05:00

Today is Maddy's 7th birthday. She is growing up so fast.

Maddy,

May you always be as happy and content as you are right now. Your smile lights up the room that you are in. Your laughter is contagious. You are so smart and sensitive to how others feel.

I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Even though there will be tough times you will always make it through on top. You have a gift of loving people and animals and giving kindness to whomever you meet.

You are truly a special gift from God. I am very proud of you and will always be! Thank you for being you.

I love you, Rosey. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

love mom

Easter - Bitter sweet

2008-03-22T20:13:00.004-05:00

Here is an email that I received yesterday. I thought it was very appropriate for the season.

Thank you.

Sometimes the kids win

2008-03-19T18:37:00.002-05:00

March is a very busy month. Many birthdays, close together, on both mine and Gregg's side and Jeff and Samara's. In the beginning mostly we would try to plan around the times that we had the kids and when it didn't work, the kids would end up missing the celebration.

I was so happy that this has changed. This past Monday was my nephew Jack's birthday. After trying many dates for his party my sister finally said it would be on Monday.

I thought, "Monday, I don't have the kids on Mondays".

So I emailed Samara to see if I could get the kids for this birthday dinner. She said they didn't have anything going on and that would be fine.

She even went one step further and was gracious and nice enough to bring the kids to Chuck E Cheese so I did not have to drive from downtown to our town (45 min drive) and then back to Maple Grove.

The evening was a blast and I dropped them off after the dinner and celebration.

After I left I was so happy that we had fought this hard battle to get to where we are so that TODAY the kids won!!

Springtime work

2008-03-17T09:41:00.002-05:00

As we finally hit 50 degrees one day last week, I got the urge. The urge to start cleaning out the house. After a long (and I mean REALLY long) winter every spring I get the urge to clean through the house. This is a process that takes many days to complete. I start in our back bathroom and work out completing each room, cleaning it, and scrubbing the carpets. It is my way to get the dirt and germs of winter out and welcome in the fresh springtime air.

Even though the process has started, we are supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow tonight. Oh well, I will be ahead of schedule this year!!

People

2008-03-10T20:04:00.004-05:00

I truly believe that people come in and out of our lives for a specific reason. The reason might influence your life specifically or it might be that you impact their life. Sometimes you might not realize the impact that person makes until many years later. This happened to me.

It was 4 years ago. I was the charge nurse in the ED (Emergency Department) that I worked at. It was a busy afternoon, but nothing out of the ordinary. Now this was an inner city, Level I trauma center that has a very active residency program. So we did a lot of teaching.

A call came in stating an Ambulance was on the way in with a Car vs. Motorcycle accident. Again, this was nothing out of the ordinary. It is not unusual to see 1 or more trauma cases during a shift.

The patient came into the trauma room. As the charge nurse I look through anything that comes in with the patient to help identify the patient and locate family. It was a young male and after looking through his wallet he was 21. He was driving the motorcycle. The initial assessment was not good. He was not responding to staff and the ambulance crew had already placed a breathing tube.

As I looked through his contact list on his cell phone it was refreshing to see that he followed the recommendations to have either "911, mom, dad, etc" listed in their contact list so in case of an emergency, we would know who to contact. The contact listing was for "mom".

Now I have made this call a hundred times. Not always to a mom but to other family members. Tonight, though, I had a knot in my stomach. I was going to be the voice on the end of the phone that changes this families' life. I was going to make that call that any mom prays they never receive.

The conversation went as follows:

Mom, "hello"
Me, "Hi, my name is Lori, are you Joe's (we'll call him Joe)mom?"
Mom, hesitantly, "yes".
Me, "I am the charge nurse in the Emergency Department, your son, Joe, was brought in. He has been in an accident.

Loooonnnng Pause.......(you could feel the dread and despair)

Mom, "Is he alright?"
Me, "He is in critical condition, you need to come to the ED as soon as possible. Is there someone that I can call for you to bring you here?"
Mom, "I will call them".
Me, "Is there anyone else I can contact?"
Mom, "No, I will call them all and be there soon...thank you".

We hang up.

As I turn around I notice that they had started CPR on him. After another 5 minutes, they had exhausted all their options and he was pronounced dead.

My fear had now turned to dread. Although, it is never fun to tell family that their loved one is critically injured it is a million times worse to tell them that we could not save them.

I went about and tried to get other parts of my duties completed when I heard the overhead page for me to come to triage. I knew the family had arrived.

I went out to triage and the mother, father, and about 6 other family members were anxiously waiting for me. I escorted them down to the family room and told them that I was going to get the physician and I would be right back.

I went and retrieved the physician and we made the long walk back to the family room. The physician explained that despite all efforts and medical treatments we could not save their son.

The grief was so overwhelming that the mother actually started to vomit. I have learned that people handle grief in very different ways. After she regained some of her strength she looked directly at me and asked:

Mom, "Are you the one I spoke to on the phone?"
Me, "I slowly answered...yes"

She started to cry uncontrollably and between the sobs she said, "Was he still alive when you called me?"

Again, I slowly answered..."yes".

I can usually keep my composure, I have learned through the years how to separate my feelings from work. I had to learn this in order to do my job, and do it well. I could not let my feelings get in the way of taking care of patients. This time however, I could not stop the tears. They rolled down my cheeks as I watched another mothers' heart break. Nothing could prepare me for what she said next...

Mom, "Oh my God, I wasn't there for my son when he needed me the most. That's what moms are supposed to do."

I got down on the floor (as that is where she had fallen to) and tried to explain he would not have known. That in an instant he was gone. That he did not suffer. My heart was breaking. I wanted to do anything to easy the guilty that she was feeling.

I sat there as she had curled into a ball, holding her, for some time. The chaplain came in and took my place so that I could see if her son was ready for viewing. I walked back to the ED trying to get myself under control. Wiping my tears I made sure the patient had been cleaned up, ready, and moved into the viewing room.

I walked back. I explained to the family what they were going to see. I explained that there was a tube in his mouth because we were breathing for him and the IV and tubes so that we could give him fluids and medications. I then took them to the viewing room. As I opened the door, Mom collapsed in the doorway upon first glimpse of her son. We talked for some time and she finally made it to see him. She told me that he was not here but in heaven.

The rest of my shift was a blur. I went home that night feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

It has taken a long time to be able to tell this story without fully crying. I still get teared up but am able to control myself. I can count on 1 hand that patients who have affected me in this way.

I know I affected her life and she will forever replay the phone call that I made again and again in her head. As a mother I feel terrible at another person loosing their son, but she had also touched my life in a way that I did not realize immediately.

She showed me the unconditional love and compassion of a mother. She showed me her faith in God and her son's faith, in that he was not here suffering, but will now be watching over her.

In the end she taught me to cherish every second, love like there is no tomarrow, never go in anger, kiss my kids every chance I get, and have faith.

She will have forever touched my life.

The Beauty of Mathematics

2008-03-10T07:38:00.000-05:00

BEAUTY OF MATHEMATICS

Give some time to look at these wonders of Mathematics.
Give them a hard look.
Look at the beauty, symmetry and revelation of Math.
Be sure to look at the end.

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this.... 101% From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K EQUALS 8+1+18+4+23 + 15+18+11 = 98%
And: K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E ..... 11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E ..... 1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E- O-F-G-O-D GIVES YOU 12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 =101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Who are you?

2008-03-05T17:25:00.003-06:00

Lately there have been people looking at my blog. I have no problem with this except when they continue to view a single post. I mean really, I know that I am a good writer and all, but why only one post.

Another blog that I visit, recently asked people to leave comments on

1. Who they were (if they had a blog associated with them as well)

2. Why they read

3. What they liked the most

I think this is a good idea, so please....

Tell me who you are and know that I am watching you as well:)

What kids say

2008-02-29T13:52:00.002-06:00

I was sitting with Maddy waiting for Ty to get done with his swimming lessons when I noticed Maddy looking around at the walls.

She then stated "Not Ice". I asked, "what"? Not having a clue as to what she was talking about. She said again, "Not Ice".

Maddy has started to really read this year. She is doing great, and said she was reading a sign.

I tried to look around and find what she was reading since "Ice" did not really fit in where we were.

She was very set on the fact that there was a sign that stated "not ice"...She pointed to the sign FINALLY and here is what it said....

NOTICE:

It was true, to a beginning reader...NOT ICE!!

Lost

2008-02-27T19:24:00.003-06:00

My friend from work rescued a dog last Friday from the humane society. It was perfect. She is a single gal whose last dog died a couple of years ago. She usually will try and rescue dogs instead of buying them from a breeder as she does not have small kids so some of the dogs that would be put down she can help.

Her luck, a guy from Wisconsin had to surrender 120 (yes, 120) labs in order to not have thousands of dollars in fines for mistreatment.

She said there were many people there to help take the dogs. Many were puppies. She found a small yellow lab that was about 1 yr old. It would be perfect for her so she bought it.

The dog was not socialized so she was very apprehensive of people in general and even more so of males. My friend took the entire week off of work in order to help the dog become adjusted and learn to relax.

They had been on many walks over the last 5 days and she said the dog had started to calm down and relax around her.

Today, though, they were out walking and something spooked her. She took off running and my friend was not able to hold onto the leash. She spent hours driving around and searching and as of yet there has been no word.

This is very hard to hear since she loves animals and has put a lot of effort, time, and love into this animal so far. The dog has a micro chip so hopefully she will be returned safely to my friend.

As her friend and BIG animal lover it breaks my heart!! Hopefully she will come home again soon.

Cherished Times

2008-02-24T12:45:00.002-06:00

My son spent Friday night at his Mimi and Papa's house. We all had gone over for a family dinner and a Wii party (to whom my wonderful husband took home the title of Bowling champ). When we were getting ready to leave Ty had asked if he could spend the night at their house. My parents, of course, were elated and had no problem with it so I said it was okay. Ty jumped for joy and my parents just smiled.

My dad brought him home the next morning and Ty was soon off running to a friends' house. I listened to my mom recall the events of what they did the night before and how fun it was to tuck him in and sing him a song.

It made me remember the cherished times I spent at my own grandmother's house. The evenings we would sit and talk about nothing particular, but would talk for hours. The dinners, the walks, the hugs and kisses. The things that she said would not have made sense at the time, but years later would make complete sense.

I wonder if she talked with my mom that way. Calling her to recall the evenings events and how much fun she had. I'm sure I was off running the next day, going here and there not ever aware of how much that time would mean to her....or to me.

I look back and wish that there were more evenings where we could sit and talk. More stories to hear, more advice to take. Wishing that she could be here to see how I am as a parent and how her parenting my mom, and my mom parenting me, has influenced and guided how I parent my children.

I now look at my son and how excited he is to see and spend time with his grandparents and realize that one day he will look back and want one more day as well. I know that even though he is off running the next day, he loves his grandparents and cherishes the times together.

Just plain tired of it...

2008-02-19T19:56:00.000-06:00

Can I say ENOUGH...

The weather channel issued a wind chill advisory for us tonight that extends until 12pm tomarrow afternoon.

With the wind chill temperatures can reach 40 below zero!!

Seriously...ENOUGH!!

We need some heat!!!

Another person's shoes

2008-02-17T17:11:00.002-06:00

I was reading a step mother's blog today and it actually sparked an interesting debate. In a nutshell it was based on how YOU would feel if you were in the "bio" moms shoes. Although I believe both sides have some valid arguements in the end I try to have empathy and compassion. Here is what I mean...

As a nurse in a busy emergency department (in a poor/bad part of town) I saw on a daily basis people who made poor choices. Sometimes these people would make these choices 3, 4, 5 times in a day or week. At first, you try and help...offer your advice (where appropriate) and have sympathy for their situation. After so many visits and the continuance of poor choices that person makes, you start to have less and less sympathy for them. You start to see how they are a product of their poor choices and they almost "deserve" what they get. It becomes harder and harder to empathize with someone when they continually make poor choices that lead to even worse outcomes.

I became very jaded and (in order to continually see patients) needed to emotionally remove myself from the poor choices and sympathizing that I had for these people. It became very tiresome to want so bad to help and yet all efforts seem for not. I believe that the same sort of situation can happen with being a step mom or bio mom. You see how someone's poor choices affect others (mainly the ones you love) and it is hard to see how/why those choices are made.

After taking some time away from the ER I have done a lot of reflecting. I still work along side of the ER so I see the same stories and situations that I did before except I now have the empathy and sympathy back. Here's why...

Removing myself from the situation gave me the opportunity to understand my background and how I was raised versus the background and situation the population we served were raised. It was quite different. I don't believe people try to make poor choices but rather sometimes that is all they know. Maybe they were raised where the parents were not home or did not show the children love and support. Maybe they were abandoned and left to grow up alone. Maybe all they saw when dealing with a situation was violence. I was raised in a loving home where we made mistakes but we were shown why it was a mistake and what to learn from it.

It was hard for me to figure out that not everyone had that upbringing. Not everyone shared my values and beliefs. Not everyone had someone to turn to when they didn't know what to do. Not everyone had a support system in place. Please do not get me wrong, I do not believe that because of someone's background it is an "excuse" for how and why they live their life, it is more that they did not have the teaching early on about making good choices.

Sometimes people have a great upbringing but still make poor choices, then what???? These situations are harder. Harder to try and understand. Case in point...a battered woman, who stays in a relationship, even after being beaten multiple times...sometimes just short of her life.

Then what? She goes back.

Why, you ask? Why don't you leave?

From my experience (and what I have had people tell me)...fear, money, support, and fear of isolation are reasons to stay. This is a very hard situation. I don't believe in anyway that these women (and sometimes men) don't deserve my empathy and sympathy even when they repeatedly make the choice to go back. Only they can know what their situation is. Only they know when and how they can leave.

I don't believe that it is easy to put yourself in someone's shoes or show empathy and sympathy to someone when they have not only made poor choices, but ones that affect you and the people you love. But in the end, if it was me, I would want someone to show me that kind of compassion and human understanding...even when I have made poor choices. Maybe then they would start making better choices based on role models of others.

Doing it wrong

2008-02-15T13:25:00.003-06:00

In my quest to loose weight and become physically fit I found this hilarious!!ENJOY

How to weigh yourself:

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.

We must get the word out.

She's FINALLY here

2008-02-07T15:08:00.001-06:00

Welcome Tiana Lin!! We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival!!

Daddy with baby

Mommy and baby

Baby Tiana

Women's Brains

2008-02-06T07:49:00.000-06:00

Ever wondered how a woman's brain works?

It's finally explained here in one easy-to-understand illustration:

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done , a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man, of course, has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.

A little history

2008-02-04T07:37:00.000-06:00

I thought it might be useful to see where I used to be and where I am now. It has taken a lot of personal growth and maturity to get to this point, but am happier then ever.

I was married to my ex in August when I was 20. (yes very young) Our divorce was final mid-to-late December the year I was 26. We had been separated for about 7 months when the divorce became final.

Like every situation, there are 2 sides to the story. In every divorce there are 2 sides, to different sets of feelings and arguements about what happened, and who did what wrong. In the end, though, I'm sure we both had hurt feelings, frustration, and sadness.

My relationship with my children's step mom was not that great in the beginning. There were many obstacles that needed to be overcome in order to make it work. I had many things to deal with in order to even start to allow myself to try.

It was not that I "instantly" hated her. I did not know her. How could I make that assumption. My feelings were almost ones of indifference. The root of the problem (I have finally figured out!) was that there were feelings of resentment toward her due to the way my ex treated her.

Part of what I felt in the marriage and after, was abdonement. Not where he would leave for days on end or anything, but rather that he was constantly at work. It seemed to me that he did not want to make time for me or that I was not important enough. (again, this was my perception of how things were) These feelings were magnified when I saw that he had started taking off days of work to be with her and the kids.

It left even worse thoughts of "why was I not good enough to do this for" etc... I don't believe that I disliked her or tried to be mean on purpose, or out of the simple fact that she did anything wrong, but rather she took my place. She was getting what I had so longed for. She had the relationship that I should have had.

I then had the fear that my ex would want to take the kids away so that they could be one big happy family. (without me) Because why would I need to be in the picture, I'd been replaced. This brought out the very basic instinct to hold onto my kids tighter then I had ever done before. It made me look into actions, see if there was "hidden" motives or meaning behind things done.

It sounds terrible to say. Worse, that I had to admit this to myself. But nonetheless, the truth. It is difficult to put those thoughts/fears aside. To try to trust after trust has been broken. To pick up the pieces and move on.

Little by little, piece by piece, sometimes one step forward and two steps back I started to mend. I tried to move forward, not looking back on what had happened, the things that were not going to change no matter how big of a fight I put up. I tried to imagine what it is like for her, being the "other" woman. The "step-mom".

When I finally stopped to look at things I could not hate her. She was just trying to live her life as well. Trying to fit into an ackward situation where there was more history and most of all children. Things constantly changing and trying to fit into an unrealistic role with expectations that continued to change as well. TOUGH to do. So I tried to stop. To understand the root of my feelings and try to get to know her.

Little by little, we have cautiously defined boundaries and different roles. She has never illuded to the fact that she was anything other then the kids' step-mom and that I was their mom. It was comforting to know that we were making steps towards having a better relationship. One where communication and hard work would make for a better situation for everyone.

I know that there were many rough spots getting to where we are. And sure there will be some to come, but I think that we have gotten to the point where we know that each is doing the very best they can for the kids. Sure there are things that we could pick apart. Things that we could use to make the other one look crazy or seem unfit as a bio or step mom, but that bridge as been crossed. Those days are over. Instead the days of long conversations not just about the kids but about "us" happen. Our thoughts, our feelings. Our likes and dislikes. And, yes, even a pilates class or two:)

Pilates?

2008-02-01T06:56:00.001-06:00

Today I am trying my first pilates class. It should be interesting since I have never been one to take an "organized" class when exercising. Rather I will run or do weights by myself. Maybe this is why I have not stuck with it. A class is something I have to go to. Something scheduled.

I find that if it is not scheduled I tend to not go. When I have boxes stacked up of embroidery to complete it is hard to imagine going and working out is more important. There are orders to fill, people to satisfy.

Well not today. Today it is about me. Today I am going to conquer PILATES!! (and who knows, I might even go back next week!!)

60 degree difference SERIOUSLY?!?!?

2008-01-29T16:58:00.000-06:00

We live in Minnesota. "Winter" is not a word taken lightly around here. We believe and live by warm mittens, thick jackets, long underwear, and snow boots. During winter "fashion" is tossed aside and just "getting by" takes it's place.

There are fewer shopping trips since traveling in and out of the stores to the cars leave people exhausted and worn out.

But this is life. This is winter. This is Minnesota.

Some of the "die hard" Minnesotans live here purely for winter. (I am NOT one of them) They thrive on the snow and cold conditions to feed their sports addictions which include: snowmobiling, hockey, and snowboarding/skiing.

Now I like being outside, and even like participating in some winter sports. But this is crazy....

Yesterday it was 45 degrees. Now after being below zero this is a heat wave. We were able to walk around outside without jackets and just a sweatshirt on. It was fabulous, but not realistic.

Reality hit today.

The winds picked up and the temperature dropped from 45 to 1 degree by 8 am this morning. This does not include the wind chill. Not many would understand why the wind chill factor is soooo important until one experienced it themselves.

Wind Chill can make 1 degrees feel like 45 below zero. This is were your flesh will start to freeze (if exposed) in under 10 minutes! That is just crazy!!

So by tonight the temp is supposed to reach 20 below (this is without the wind chill) and possibly snow. It is a great possibility that schools will be cancelled tomorrow due to the cold weather.

This is a 60 degree change in weather from one day to the next!! AWWW, nowhere else but Minnesota!!

(on a side note, I was told I can't complain about the weather since I have heated seats in my car...they were the best purchase one could have ever made!!)

To my Son

2008-01-24T20:24:00.000-06:00

To my Son on his birthday...

How could I ever explain how much you mean to me.

How many hours I spent watching you sleep when you were a baby.

The many times I got up just to check on you "one more time".

Then as you started to walk I followed behind you, waiting to catch you if you fell. Keeping you steady, trying to show you the way.

You started to talk and when the word "Mama" came out I did not think that my heart could be happier then it was at that point.

The bike rides and shopping we did together, the many, many trips to visit Nana when she lived far away.

You have touched the hearts of every person that you have encountered.

Then you started school. I was very proud of you and yet selfishly wanted to keep you home so I could have you all to myself.

You have grown up and become more independent each year taking on new characteristics.

I don't know how one person can make me so happy and proud and at the same point fear just about everything that might take away a chance at your dreams coming true.

I went from wanting more for my life to wanting to make sure that yours is the best it can be.

When you are sad, my heart breaks with you. I know that there are times in your life that you have to learn things the hard way, and it takes all that I can to sit back and watch, gently giving advice but careful to let you find your way.

It is like a mama bear with her cubs, wanting to protect them with all that she is.

I can not believe you are 9. It seems like just yesterday I was carrying you.

So on your birthday this year, know that I still check on you each night and pray for you each day.

Know that I will always be on your side, cheering you on.

Know that no matter what you do, or how bad you screw up I will always forgive you.

Our Favorite song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Our Favorite story to read:
I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER, I'LL LIKE YOU FOR ALWAYS, AS LONG AS I'M LIVING MY BABY YOU'LL BE!!!

I love you Bubba, Happy Birthday!!!

Worried

2008-01-23T08:10:00.000-06:00

I got this emailed to me today and found it quite true.

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when
Offspring become accountable for their own
Actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
Parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug, "It's
Their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
Stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
You stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
And was headed for a career making
License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher
Said, "Don't worry, they all go through
This stage and then you can sit back, relax and
Enjoy them." My dad just smiled
Faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
Home, the front door to open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
In a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
Adults." My dad just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being
Vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
Children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
Was nothing I could do about it. My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
Continued to anguish over their failures, be
Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
Their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I
Could stop worrying and lead my own
Life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
Haunted by my dad's warm smile and his
Occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
You depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
Human frailties and the fears of the
Unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
That elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
Recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
Calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried." I smiled a
warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

Something to make you smile...

2008-01-21T08:25:00.001-06:00

Haircut of the year!!

Happy Anniversary!

2008-01-20T16:18:00.000-06:00

Today is our anniversary. Although it is basically a quite, relaxing day it has been great to hang out together and just be.

To my husband,

Thank you for the continual support and love that you have shown each day. It is a comfort to know how much you care.

Even in the small ways that we joke and laugh it is in those very conversations that our love grows.

I love you could not begin to tell you how I truly feel. Those 3 little words seem so small and yet can fill up my whole heart.

Differences happen, lives change but I know that you will always be there with words of encouragement and support. These are not just "have to's" but I know it is because you want to.

It is in the little daily tasks that are never boring because I have you at my side.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.....I LOVE YOU!

Happy Anniversary!

Wrong

2008-01-20T06:39:00.001-06:00

I deleted the post that seems to have made many people very angry. My intention was not to hurt or make angry but rather to speak about my own feelings on the subject. It has been said that these sites are just ways to vent their feelings, and with the attacks that I have taken after venting mine (only on my blog) I am shocked that I am the one being called a hypocrite. I do owe one person a heart felt apology. I am truly sorry.

Divorce, being a biological mom, and being a step mom are very hard tasks, none of which has the right answer. There are no perfect situations, no perfect relationships.

My relationship with my children's step mom has happened over time and maturity. This has been a walk that has taken 2 steps forward and 3 back at times. It happens when both people put forth the effort, true effort. Is it easy, NO. In the beginning I thought that the effort that I was putting forth was enough...it was not. I had to learn to take chances and trust when I was unsure.

I am grateful and happy where we are now. She is a big part of my children's lives. She helps raise them and teach them every day. She loves them unconditionally, and that is very comforting to me.

No one ever said all situations should be as mine is. They are not perfect. I am not perfect. Mistakes happen. There are bumps (even large holes) that are stumbled into along the way. Sometimes we handle them with grace other times not. There are times that I have had to forgive someone and others where I am asking for forgiveness myself. This is very humbling and hard to do.

There are no exact situations, no manual. Just trying the best you can daily and hoping for the best.

Mom Test

2008-01-18T15:04:00.001-06:00

Here is something that I got emailed to me and thought it was too funny to not post!!

The Mom Test

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. 'Why?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.' I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. ''Exactly'. I replied back with a big smile on my face.

When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.

To Be a Mom

2008-01-17T20:28:00.000-06:00

To Be a Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family.

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle ; or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child-care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. >

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God... that of being a Mother.

AMEN!!

Did that REALLY come out of their mouths??

2008-01-15T07:13:00.001-06:00

I'm sure we have all done it...stuck our foot in our mouths. But there are some that seem to do it more often then others. You know the ones, where you are left standing there, thinking to yourself, "Did that really just come out of their mouth?" Sometimes it can make you very uncomfortable or upset. Other times you have to just laugh at the odasity of people.

Here are a few that I thought I would share:

(to get this you need to know this happened to my husband at work, at the hospital.)

Dispatcher: Call for drugs found on medicine unit see nurse up there.
Husband: okay.

(gets up to the floor and talks to the first nurse)

Nurse: I will take you to talk to the other nurse that found it.

(the nurse and hubby walk to the other nurses' office where she has her back to the door)

Nurse: I have security here for the drugs.
Nurse2: Oh good, is it the one of the nice security guards or one of the mean ones.
Hubby: The mean one....

----------------------------------------------------------------

grandmother to newer stepmom (bio mom to new child)

grandmother: he looks just like step children
bio mom: yes, they resemble each other
grandmother: you can hardly imagine that you are the mom

-----------------------------------------------------------------

aquantaince to stepmom

aquantaince: i saw the paper, that was a great article. It is good they are getting along so well.

stepmom: yes

aquantaince: if they get along so well, why did they ever get divorced?

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biomom talking to newer neighbors while out for a walk

neighbors: so you live around here?

biomom: yes, in the culd a sac

neighbors: do you know that woman?

biomom: what woman?

neighbors: you know, the one whose husband left her...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

These are just many, many examples of situations....please leave a comment with your funny situation.

Bad blogger, new updates

2008-01-12T15:48:00.000-06:00

I have been very, very bad with blogging recently. I thought I had a great idea for writing but then I had horrible writers block. So now I am ready to just update you on where we are right now.

Maddy has started a new gymnastics class this last Saturday. She was pretty nervous since she started in the middle of the session. We did this since she has been taking a "sweet heart's class" that is a combination of dance and gymnastics. Although, she changes her mind frequently she has seemed more interested in the gymnastics piece. Today was her second class. She was all smiles during the class and after. She is very good and is already just as good as the other kids in the class.

Tyler is getting excited about his birthday coming up. January is very busy for us as we have:

Nana's birthday on the 7th
Megan's birthday on the 19th
Our anniversary on the 20th
Gregg's dad and uncles birthdays on the 25th (twins...duh!!)
Tyler and Lauren's birthday's on the 27th

and possibly a new birthday to add.....kelly!!!

Tyler has decided to go snow tubing at a hill for his birthday. It is really fun so hopefully it will not be crazy cold!! He also wants to take snowboarding lessons so we will look at a snowboard for his birthday. It would be fun to learn how to do some of those things together as a family. Especially since we have so many winter months!!

I have been busy embroidering as well as at work. We are upgrading our system at work the weekend of Feb 7th, 8th, and 9th. This is alot of work and testing. The embroidery business has expanded (which is great!!) and is keeping me very busy. I am doing alot more tackle twill sweatshirts which is fun with my new cutter.

I am looking forward to some quality time with my husband tonight. I think we will go see a movie or just hang out.

I'm sure like most people with the New Year's Resolutions I have also agreed that I needed to loose 15 pounds. I have gained some weight in the past year and am now determined to loose that weight and tone up. So hopefully by softball season I will be in shape and ready to go!!

I also will be better about updating this with stories and thoughts!!!

New Year Promises

2008-01-03T07:40:00.000-06:00

As 2007 came to a close we often look back on the year with fond memories, experiences, could have's, should have's, and what if's. Sometimes these are big ordeals that took place, other times just soft whispers. At times we are proud of the accomplishments that we have done, other times ashamed or disappointed that we are still where we are.

With the new year there is hope...hope that you can overcome anything, move past hard times, and reconcile relationships. Often times this is the time to make New Years Resolutions. Resolutions that usually include weight loss, eating better, being a better person, or getting a new job/promotion.

I usually do not have a list of resolutions that I try to do each year. There is a standing list that I have that no matter the time I try to live by. Here is my list.

First and foremost, love God.
Be a grateful and loving wife.
A role model and someone my children can look up to and respect.
Not quick to judge people, their situations or their decisions.
Live life to the fullest.
Forgive.
Do not harbor angry feelings.
Be respectful.
Thankful for everything I have been given.
Content.
Remember to take time to stop and smell the roses.
Do something outside of my comfort zone.
Read a book.

I try to live by these things as I think they are key to a happy fulfilled life. What are some of your resolutions???

Not "By Purpose"

2007-12-29T20:38:00.000-06:00

By Purpose has become a familiar saying in our house at times. This is supposed to mean that he/she did it "ON PURPOSE", but when one is very young and new at learning the trade of "tattling" it comes across as "by purpose".

So in the spirit of 'by purpose' there are a couple of things that I wanted to admit that I did NOT do BY PURPOSE...

The first, buy Henry a ball pit just to annoy or get back at his mom. This has become a popular joke between us and how "sweet" revenge can be but in all honesty I really got it for him because I thought he would love it. I will admit that there is a hint of satisfaction knowing that the balls (all 150 of them) are being thrown around the house, but truthfully I wanted to get him something that I knew he would like.

Secondly, getting the kids toys (ie..junk) from Space Aliens. Space Aliens is somewhat similar to Chuck E Cheese or as some call it a Children's Casino. Money is thrown into the machines for tickets only to redeem prizes that usually break within the first hour.

Tonight, we took the kids there and they picked out a large (about 2 1/2 foot) plastic blow-up hammer. This would not be so bad if every time you squeezed it, it made a high pitched squeaking sound that is very deafening.

It seemed ironic that immediately after picking out these deafening toys they were going to their dad's. It was definitely not by purpose that they went over there with those annoying toys.

So just for the record I did not do it by purpose!!

Christmas Weekend

2007-12-28T14:31:00.001-06:00

With Christmas Eve being on a Monday we had the weekend to "prepare" for the holiday. Saturday started out with some baking. (we had previously baked cookies but decided to do another batch). Jack was a very "messy" helper. His mom said he can only help over at my house....wonder why????

Sunday was Maddy's program at Church. She was an angel...no literally an Angel. Her and her cousin Megan sang beautifully!! (I'm sure I won Mother of the year since I don't have a pic to post of the angels but I think if you look at Samara's blog you can find one!)

Monday, Christmas Eve, Samara and Jeff came over in the morning as we had a couple of presents for them. The kids were already bouncing off the walls. Then we went to my mom and dad's for the day. Here are some pics of the day.

All the kids by the Christmas Tree.

Ty and Papa reading the story of Mary and Joseph. This has become a tradition every year and each year brings tears to Mimi and Papa's eyes.

Maddy very pleased with her new gift!!

Ty opening the "guitar hero" gift. Fun for the whole family!!

It was a truly great day filled with family and laughter. The kids even sang Happy Birthday to Jesus.

Tuesday, Christmas Day, was a little more relaxed. I got up early anxious about the turkey dinner I was making. I have never truly done it solo. I have always had my mom there to help.

In the mist of Christmas Eve I forgot to pick up the French Silk pie the girls wanted. So I found a recipe and was going to make one....one problem....no eggs.

I went out at about 7 am in hunt for eggs. After 4 gas stations and stores I found one open. I thanked the cashier over and over for "saving" my pie, even though she was probably not happy about being open. And went home.

I made the pie and pie crust and it looked good. I put the turkey in and went about the morning. About noon Gregg's parents and girls came over. We ate and opened presents. It was nice to talk to them. That night was spent relaxing and enjoying "peace on earth".

Ty and Maddy came back from their dad's Thursday, and again, it was Christmas at our house. Not only had Santa come while they were gone, but Gregg's family had brought gifts as well.

I have found with our blended family it is not just a holiday on 1 day but usually lasts a week for the kids!!!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-26T06:50:00.000-06:00

I love this time of year. This year has been especially fun. The kids were very excited about Christmas and it seemed to be catchy. I even caught my husband listening to Christmas music!

Christmas Eve we spent at my parents house. This is a tradition that we have done since I can remember. My dad has oysters for dinner (by himself since noone else in their right minds would eat them) and the rest of us seem to graze all day long on cheese and crackers, Christmas cookies, and other various things.

Usually we go to candle light service at our church but this was the first year we didn't. It was hard to not go but Gregg had to work and did not get off until around the time we would need to leave. So this year we stayed home and enjoyed the laughter and excitment of the kids as they opened their presents (and ours).

Ty and Maddy went to their dad's that night when we were all done. It is hard to not have them on Christmas Day but understandably that they have their traditions as well.

Christmas Day was spent with Gregg's girls and family. We stayed home and I cooked a turkey and dressing. I even made a homemade French Silk pie. (this was since I forgot to pick up one the day before!!) It was very relaxing and nice to sit and visit with the girls. They are older and busy with their own lives.

Will post some fun pics later! Hope all had a very wonderful Christmas!

p.s. It even snowed on Christmas!

School update

2007-12-18T20:20:00.000-06:00

So for those just tuning in we have had some difficulty (to say the least) getting the school district that we live in to recognize our family dynamics.

In the beginning of the school year I was made to "apply" for access to my children's school records online. This was covered up by stating that my ex got there first and that is why he got the password. (even though we walked up there together!!)

Next has been numerous times where they would state that they have contacted the "mother" of the children, when in fact, my phone has never rang.

It has been brought to basically everyone's attention that we are a blended family and this is the living situation for our children. There are 2 sets of parents. The children live in 2 homes. Both sets of parents are equally involved. and the biggest one....WE TALK. Yes, we talk to each other. We know what is going on in each others homes when the kids are there. We know how the other parent is doing and sometimes how exhausting and/or frustrating it can be at times. WE KNOW!!

We have been writing to our oh so politically correct school board member and IT person to try and have some of the forms changed since they are confusing and do not show the legal guardians for the children. At one point during my conversation with the IT guy he stated, "In my opinion the forms have been changed enough to satisfy a situation like yours".

A SITUATION LIKE YOURS....

Last time I checked my tax dollars that paid his salary did not go for his opinion.

Since then we have been dealing with yet another small town catholic man who has been less then helpful and in fact has (as he puts in his emails) been "disappointed" by the fact that his minimal assistance has been met with great upheavel and that we did not just "go away".

We now need to look at filing a complaint with the State about the school district and the fact that they are infringing on civil rights of equal representation of the situation.

It would be sooooo nice if someone would just say, "Hey I know you did not go into this planning on getting divorced, but I can see you are working your a** off to make the best of a bad situation to help not only the kids but everyone else involved".

I'm sure there will be more to come.....

Sad but rejoincing

2007-12-14T06:34:00.000-06:00

Please stop and say a prayer for Samara and her family today. Yesterday her mom went home to be with the Lord after a long battle with Cancer. Although I have no idea the pain and suffering she is going through at this time I can empathise and ask that you say a prayer for comfort and healing through this difficult time. Thank you.

Upset

2007-12-11T18:48:00.001-06:00

I have been visiting other step parent blogs recently and found one sight particularly disturbing. Now maybe I would be more "appreciative" of this sight if I did not or did not want to get along with my kids step mom or ex.

Basically the blog is being written by a step mom and bashes the bio mom every chance she gets. Why??? I don't understand.

Truthfully there have and are times that I don't agree with my ex. There have been times that I don't agree with step mom, does this give me a reason to bash them??? No...

One of the latest bashing was her gloating about a situation where they were supposed to have the kids and (from her perspective) the bio mom was completely unreasonable, so they went to the court and the court ruled in step mom's favor. So she was writing about how wonderful it was to be proven right and "justified".

The interesting part came when someone (didn't leave their name) posted a comment about how the story made her sad and that it should be about the kids.

This blogger went on to tell the anonymous person how wrong she was and that the kids needed to understand about being right etc, etc, etc....basically trying to justify her actions.

I have refrained from posting a comment on there since I don't believe that at any point this step mom wants to try and work on things and I would be wasting my breathe. I feel terrible that the kids are the ones that suffer when parents can not work things out or at least be civil.

This does not mean you have to be great friends (although in my case it has been that way), but rather come to some understanding that does not involve the kids knowing anything about it.

There are many different ways to communicate these days in the information technology world. If you can't or don't feel like you can talk face to face, send an email or write a letter. Keep it to the basics. And for goodness sakes don't teach your kids that it is more important to be right then it is to worry about their feelings!!

Holiday tidbits

2007-12-08T21:32:00.001-06:00

Here are some pics from the last week. We have been very busy getting ready for Christmas.

Patches found a new sleeping spot under the tree. She can be cute when she is not being evil!

Samara and Henry came over to help make carmel rolls for after the kids' Christmas Program this Sunday. Henry seemed to enjoy them!

Maddy is my baker!!

We got the kids a skating rink for the backyard this year for Christmas. Due to the cold nasty weather we have had we had to put it up before Christmas Day. The kids love it and seem to find all sorts of neighborhood kids over.

There is a first time for everything

2007-11-30T21:52:00.000-06:00

In a million years I would never have imagined that I would be "blogging" let alone answering questions for another blogger. The kids' step mom does a lot of blogging and some free lance writing. She is really good at it so I am a little self conscious about writing since it has never been my best quality.

So when she told me that she (meaning the kids' step mom) had nominated me to be "Ms December" for

I was very shocked.

As in my previous posts I am the bio mom but also a step mom to my 2 step daughters.

So check out the questions and answers by clicking on Step Mothers Milk above.

Christmas Baking

2007-11-30T09:29:00.001-06:00

This year's Christmas baking started last weekend after I was invited over to help Maddy and Samara bake cookies and fudge. It was fun to spend time with them and talk.

She grabbed the wooden spoon just for the pose. (what a ham!)

After baking Maddy decided she wanted her hair cut off. So after baking we went to get her hair cut. It is very cute and way less snarls!!

Step Families

2007-11-27T14:00:00.000-06:00

It seems that lately step families/blended families are being talked about more. This might be due to the outstanding issues we have with the school district our children attend and the lack of assistance from them to our situation. There will be more on this subject later...
Maybe it stems from the fact that the holidays are fast approaching which provides deeply embedded traditions into each person involved.

I am both a biological mom and a step mom. Never would I have imagined that I would be in my "life place" as I am now. No one grows up dreaming of becoming divorced and then getting married (again...) to a man with children. But here I am. My life is full of experiences and lessons learned from both sides of the speculum.

As a biological mom I had to come to terms with many things. Most of which were a direct effect of the divorce. I had to learn that we each had our own perspective of how the divorce (and marriage) was and the feelings behind that are powerful, and that none of that truly mattered anymore since the kids were the focus now.

My ex met and married his now wife (step-mom) before I had started seriously dating or married my husband. There are many stereo types out there about step moms and the kind of people they are. There are also stereo types of how ex-wives are perceived as well. Neither of which looked particularly good. I was the evil ex-wife and she was the "other woman" who was taking care of my kids.

Where we are now is definitely not where we were initially, as individuals, and as a blended family. There are many insecurities, boundaries, and situations that are addressed. Some are handled well and others not so much....

One of the first (and probably biggest for me) insecurity that I had as a biological mom was step-mom "replacing" me. This was partly due to her "taking my place" in my past relationship and then starting to have a relationship with my kids. I think that most bio-moms experience this (at least to a point) in the beginning.

What I have learned:(especially now that I am not only a biological mom but a step-mom too)

- is that she is only trying to find her place in this new relationship...new with both husband and with the children. This is not an easy task. It is long and continually changing as the things that are asked of her are done with the attitude that they are done without complaining and can change on a moments notice. These are to appease the biological parents.

- ultimately the biological should have the say over the values and discipline styles of the kids. This does not mean that the step-parents' role and values do not need to be considered. Most of the time the rules of the house etc..are set by the bio and step parent for that house. The closer the values are of each house the easier the transition is for the kids between the houses. It also helps to ensure that one home is not deemed the "fun house" and the other home the "one with all the rules".

- The relationship that you have with step mom is not the same as the relationship that you have with ex-husband. I have really gotten to know my kids' step mom in the last year. We have been able to exchanged stories and ideas about the kids and life in general. It has been great getting to know her and I find that we are similar in many ways. In the past I have found it hard to separate our friendship from the relationship that we all share since she is married to my ex. I have learned that the issues that ex and I struggle with or are in the misdt of sorting out should not and can not affect the relationship/friendship that step-mom and I have. These are 2 different relationships.

- I think the biggest thing that I have learned is that it is not only my feelings that matter. She has feelings and concerns that are not only legitimate, but could provide a possible solution that I might not have tried or thought of. Step-parents play an important role in the blended family just as biological parents do.

Where our blended family was 2 years ago and now has dramatically improved. I think time heals and you grow not only as individuals but together. I am glad that I have had the opportunity to get to know and become friends with my childrens' step mom. We have had many funny stories and situations that could keep you entertained for hours. She is the mom my kids have when I am not there. It is comforting to know she is there.

It is a bit harder to have a relationship with my step childrens' mom. The step children are older and live with her. I still try to keep a good relationship with her. I understand that my step children are not nearly as dependent on me as my kids are to their step mom but that is okay.

In the end, good relationships equal happy, well-adjusted kids...a goal we can all agree on!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T19:11:00.000-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving, one of my favorite days. Not just because we get to be with extended family, or eat a well prepared and glorious meal, but because I know that Christmas is coming. This is the day that "officially" gets Christmas kicked off.

I usually, like clockwork, put up my Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving. This includes changing all CD's and music stations to accommodate the holiday songs. This is truly my favorite time of year. This year I am anxiously waiting for the kids to come home since they requested I wait to put up the decorations so they could help. I have to admit that I will probably put up my Christmas tree and then have the kids help with the family one. (yes, I have my own Christmas tree...I know...it's crazy. The kids each have a tree in their rooms as well!!) I love having a tree with all the artwork and decorations that the kids have made and another that has pretty fragile decorations.

I have already started Christmas shopping and putting lots of thought into each gift. The other best part of the holidays is the baking. This year Samara was gracious enough to invite me over to bake cookies with her and Maddy. This should be very fun and I'm sure there will be pics from the baking bonanza!!

A dusting of snow today has further put me in the holiday spirit. I truly love this time of year!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am Thankful for:

My God, who without him, I wouldn't be saved.
My wonderful and loving husband who is my best friend and supporter.
My loving children who light up my life and make me laugh.
My family that have loved and supported me through both good and bad times.
My friends, who have provided additional support and laughs. Another perspective that is not so close to the situation.
My job, that even though I don't always like, supports us and gives us all that we have.
All that we have been given...we are so very blessed!!

I pray for:

The troops that are fighting for us and can not be home with their own families.
Health of family and friends.
Those who don't have a home to go to or family/friends to lean on.
Those who do not know God's grace.

Thank You

2007-11-19T07:39:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. We celebrated with all the kids and grand kids on Friday night. It was filled with children laughing and playing and you could feel the excitement of the "party".

In recognizing my dad's birthday I thought it only reasonable to say thank you for all that he has done for me. More then he will ever realize.

Since I can remember my dad was always working to provide for us. Even when life was tough, he had faith that managed to pull us through. As I grew he showed care and concern for my daily choices and led by example. This has set the standards pretty high and I find that when I have tough choices to make I think about what he would do.

He has showed how to problem solve and how to deal with life when it doesn't always go the way we wanted it to. He has taught us how to recognize what is truly important in life and to let the other stuff go, even when it is not fair.

He has caught me many times when I have fallen. Even when I have fallen due to my own choices after he has voiced his concerns. And I know he would catch me again if needed.

He has shown me what it is to have faith, faith that can move mountains. Even when I doubted the very existence of faith. He showed me that I could trust myself, even when I didn't. His mere outlook on life was enough to give me the self confidence that I needed to survive many situations.

His kindness and generosity has showed me how to be kind and generous to others. Not only in monetary tokens but to give of myself as he has done countless times.

His love for God, his wife, his children, and grandchildren is far greater then could ever be said. He shows this everyday even when we have not deserved it.

All that I am I owe to my dad. He has given me more then he could ever know or that I could start to repay. I can only hope that I can pass on to my kids a piece of what he has given to me. So for all of that and more...

Thank you Dad. I love you. Happy Birthday!!

Busy Weekend

2007-11-12T05:59:00.000-06:00

I can't believe the weekend is over already. It seems that time is going by quicker and quicker. This weekend I had many things I needed to get done. I have had a lot of sweatshirts to do and work as well.

This does not include my desire to scrub the carpets or want to dust, but sometimes there is just not enough time in the day to complete EVERYTHING. I have come to the realization that I am only 1 person. 1 person capable of doing only so many things.

Saturday, Maddy lost one of her front teeth. She was very excited and looks very cute. (more pictures to come) During my hustle to get an order of sweatshirts done, Maddy came to me and stated she didn't have anyone to play with and wanted to play with me. I am so glad we got to sit and talk and play together. This was a great part of the weekend.

The kids left on Saturday night and it was a race to get to the gym and then home to work on more sweatshirts. By Sunday morning I had work calling and needing things along with, MORE sweatshirts.

I (with the help of my wonderful husband) have figured out that it is about time to purchase another piece of equipment for my "side" business. Currently with the sweatshirts I am making, they require me to sit by the hours cutting out letters or designs to sew on the shirts. There is a machine that does this but I have put off buying this since my business really has not called for it. Now that it seems to get bigger and bigger I am looking more realistic that the time it takes for me to cut all these things out could be better spent doing other things.

So Sunday evening Gregg and I went to the gym (I am still running at least a couple of miles every other day to keep up on it) and then out for a nice dinner and rented a movie. It was great to relax after a long week!

In the blink of an eye

2007-11-06T05:54:00.000-06:00

In the Bible it states that the world will end in the blink of an eye. Now, for me, this is very disturbing and somewhat surreal. It is hard for me to imagine "forever" and that it could all be over in less then a second.

Working in the ER I have seen this happen. Too many times to count.

An accident...a person gone, and family who didn't get to say good-bye.

You never quite get used to the profound sadness of my job, but you have to learn how to cope with it or you would not last 1 month. You see people day after day at their very worst. Hearing news that will change their lives forever, and hear from them what they would give to have the chance to say good-bye one last time.

Even though you know that you have a limited time on this Earth it does not become real until something happens to either you or someone close to you.

Sunday started out pretty normal. We had the kids and went to church. As we were leaving church my mom turned on her cell phone as we were leaving for Champs (the kids' favorite restaurant to go for brunch). Her cell phone beeped...she had a message.

We joked about who would be calling her and then her face turned from joking to serious. My cousin, who is in his mid 30's, was life linked to the hospital. He had a heart attack. How could this have happened? He is only 36.

It made me start to think about a conversation that I had with my own doctor a few days prior to that. Seems as though there are some outstanding tests and a referral to a specialist that he wants me to complete. Even though it is not life-threatening it still can be information that impacts your life.

I have started to appreciate each day more and am more thankful for all that I have been given. The compassion and understanding for people needs to be great as we never always know the burdens they carry.

So today I am thankful for my kids, family and friends. Thankful that I woke up this morning and am able to go to work (physically make it to work, and that I have a job). I am thankful that I have a place to go home to tonight with a loving and understanding husband waiting there for me. I am thankful that my cousin will recover and go home to his family. Thank you to God for each day.

Halloween 2007

2007-11-01T17:22:00.000-05:00

Although we did not have the kids this year for Halloween we stopped by and saw them before they left for trick-or-treating.

Ty ended up as a wizard.
Maddy was Dorothy.

It was cold but they sounded like they had a blas

Apple Orchard-Fall Fun

2007-10-28T15:41:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we (Mimi, Nana, Meg, Alex, Jack, Ty, Maddy, and I) ventured out for our yearly trip to the Apple Orchard. This year we went later in the season and were able to pick out our pumpkins as well.

A lesson we learned from last year is to make the kids carry their own pumpkins. This will ensure the size of the pumpkin is not larger the the kids. (happened in previous years).

We got to pick our apples and evan Jack loved to do it. The apples are sooo good this time of year and I love making apple pies and apple muffins.

Evan Ty was thrilled with how many "good" apples he could find!!

We went through the corn maze and wandered around there for a while. Although, Ty had a different idea of the finish line then the rest of us, we had fun.

The weather was beautiful and we had a great day!

Check it off your list!!

2007-10-28T15:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the big, BIG day. This is the day we had been waiting for. This was the race...

I was very nervous about the race since I had really not trained that hard. Sure, I would run here or there but never consistant or for that far. Yet I was not ready to admit to myself or my sister that I would not, could not do it. So we left.

As you can see by the tshirt. She had picked the Anoka Halloween 5k. To get an idea of how many people were there the first mile of the run was down Main St. in Anoka. This also is the parade route that happens immediately following the race. There were easily hundreds (and I do mean hundreds) of people lined up with their chairs waiting for the parade to start. There were another 1500-2000 people actually running!!

There were many different costume ideas that people were wearing. Some of the more creative costumes were: a box of "whack a moles", 8 guys dressed like wild animals carrying a large PVC cage around all of them reading, "Do not feed the animals", characters from the movie 300, and my favorite that we ran the first mile next to; "a chikita banana".

I was amazed not only at the people but the people running in costumes. There were people as young as 3 years old and as old as 75. Here are the pictures of us before starting the race.

The guys wore hats to make them more aerodynamic!!

After the first mile, I was doing well. My breathing seemed to be steady and I felt pretty good. With all the people and the costumes it made for an entertaining run. This is Lisa and I after the race!

It was a great day and really warm. Although Gregg and Evan could have easily finished before Lisa and I, we all crossed the finish line together.

It was a great day, with great family. We are going to do it again next year. Next year we are even going to wear costumes. Please leave a comment if you have a suggestion for our costumes!!!

We also plan on doing the 5k for the Race for the Cure which is in May!!

CONGRATS SISTOR.....CROSS IT OFF YOUR LIST!! love ya:)

Just a MOM

2007-10-19T08:14:00.000-05:00

Here is an excerpt from an email I received. I thought it should be applied to those who work or choose to stay at home. Those whose children are grown or those expecting their first. For those who have lost children or are blessed enough to see them daily. To ALL mothers!!

JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a......?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, [what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).

I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are
more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

The point of no return

2007-10-19T08:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I sent in our paperwork and money for the 5k Halloween race next weekend.

I am excited to follow through with this goal even if I have not been as dedicated as I have wanted to be.

I am actually looking at running another 5k in Spring. This is the Race for the Cure.

It is a special year since my friend Kristi will have been gone for 5 years.

More to come....

Funny, but true

2007-10-16T06:21:00.000-05:00

We live in a very small, Catholic community. There are 3 large Catholic churches within a mile or 2 of each other. One of them has a lighted sign that usually has a saying appropriate for that time of year, or just to let people know of upcoming events.

Gregg and I were driving home last night and the sign read:

"Read the Bible...it will scare the hell out of you".

appropriate...and true!

Family Pictures

2007-10-14T19:09:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago we had our family pictures taken. I have wanted these taken for a while, but it never seemed to be the right time, or we were too busy. Finally the opportunity came where a person I worked with did photography on the side. I was a little apprehensive to call and ask Gregg's girls to be in it since they are older.

They said, "yes" and we scheduled a day. It was windy but otherwise a nice fall day. Here are some of the pics.

Middle Aged

2007-10-10T07:47:00.001-05:00

What comes to mind when you think of middle aged?

Does it represent a certain year or years? Or is it how you feel?

How long does middle age last and what are you after you are middle aged?

These questions were brought to my mind last week and made me start thinking.

To me, my parents, are middle aged. They are in their early 50's. They have raised their family and are enjoying the part of life together after years of hard work and hardship. This idea that I had was somewhat destroyed last week after a visit to the doctor.

I went to see a dermatologist and during his discussion about what the dry skin was he stated: "You usually don't see this happen in middle-aged people like yourself but it can develop after longer periods of time out in the sun...." He tried to keep talking but I halted him immediately.

"Middle-aged people like myself", I asked??

Without too much hesitation he replied, "yes".

"I don't understand", I said again. "I am certainly NOT middle aged", I demanded.

He then asked, "Well, what are you then?"

I did not have a response. I guess I don't fall into the "young adult" range since I have reached 30 but certainly don't feel that I am middle-aged.

I explained to him that I expected to live well beyond 90 and that put middle-aged at around 40-50. I believe he realized how offended I was and we talked a little more about the dry skin and I left.

If I am middle-aged, then what are my parents....elderly?

This dermatologist has it all wrong. I think there needs to be another category added between yound adult and middle aged. And THAT is where I am at right now!!

Gone...but not far

2007-10-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

It is the beginning of October. The air smells of fall. All the outdoor chores are done when preparing for a cold harsh winter. This includes cleaning out the flower beds and cutting all the flowers back.

I have many different types of flowers planted around the house ranging from Iris to Day Lillie's. Even though I have allergies to them I love seeing and smelling their fragrance. This is for me, a certain sign of spring.

I have gotten many of my flowers from relatives ranging from Grandmother to Great Aunts. I find great pride in these flowers as they are a constant reminder of loved ones.

I have 2 types of Iris around my house. In the front, I have white iris that I got from my grandmother. She has been gone about 15 years. The other set is a deep purple that I had purchased a couple of years ago. Both are very pretty, but of course I prefer the white.

This spring the flowers had come up and had many, many buds. The problem came after it froze one night. The flower buds died. I was very disappointed. I kept the green stems long most of the summer and then had pulled all of them out in order to separate them. I gave many away but kept a bunch to replant.

As fall approached I cut them all back to the ground in order to prepare.

Yesterday I came home and noticed something sticking up. When I took a closer look I was absolutely amazed with an overwhelming feeling of closeness to my grandmother.

There among the cut flowers was one single stem that had grown and now bloomed. To find this truly amazing one needs to have a small green thumb.

First, Iris ONLY bloom in Spring. It is very unheard of that they bloom a second time in Fall. Second, usually when flowers are split and transplanted they usually will not bloom the next Spring let alone a month later.

Today, my Grandma came back to let me know she was there. It was truly a moment that took my breathe away!!

Student of the Month

2007-10-04T06:37:00.001-05:00

Maddy made the Student of the Month for the month of October. She was very, VERY excited with good reason. There are many first graders in her school and they pick 2 from all the classes.

What a great accomplishment!! We are sooo proud!! Way to go MADDY!!

Here's a recent picture of her during our "family photos". More to come on that along with some pictures!!

unmotivated

2007-10-03T07:56:00.000-05:00

According to the timer on my blog there is less then 25 days until the race. I have to admit that I am actually starting to dread the counter. I thought that it would help me to get motivated and in fact it just makes me feel worse.

I have not been running faithfully, in fact I just ran for the first time last week for about 3 weeks. I am hoping that a slow down in my pace and overtime at work will help me get motivated to start running again.

I am hoping that writing and admitting my failure so far will shame me, if nothing else, to start running faithfully again.

More to come....

Caretaker...right?

2007-10-02T06:50:00.000-05:00

Saturday, Gregg got home from work and immediately started helping my dad and I with the tile. By 9:30pm that night we were done (although Gregg did most of the work). He said that he was stiff already. Noone thought that much of it since tiling is hard on the body from all the bending and crouching you have to do.

Sunday he was not feeling better, instead he was feeling worse. By the time he got home from work, he went to bed.

He was sick...no doubt about it.

I was a nurse, I could take care of him. Instead, I found myself trying to stay far away from him, not wanting to get whatever HE had.

I tried to caretake from afar, going to the store and buying juice, soup, and other treats that I know he likes.

Monday...he is still sick. Hardly got up all day, and needed more caretaking when I got home from work. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and know that he must really be sick since he usually doesn't complain about anything, much less a cold. Nonetheless, I had worked 12 hours that day and hardly slept all night since he was tossing and turning so much, and found my patience for him being sick was wearing on me.

But I went back to the store and bought more soup to make for him. I gave him some pain meds for his headache and hoped we could get some sleep.

Not much more sleep last night...hope he is feeling better today!!!

Friends...maybe??

2007-09-30T17:25:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we got a kitten. She was very sweet and timid of the dogs...AT FIRST. She has come a long way since then. She, at one point, had Lexi backed into a corner. She has quite the personality and seems to put the dogs in their place. Although, today I caught her napping next to Lexi!!