I deleted the post that seems to have made many people very angry. My intention was not to hurt or make angry but rather to speak about my own feelings on the subject. It has been said that these sites are just ways to vent their feelings, and with the attacks that I have taken after venting mine (only on my blog) I am shocked that I am the one being called a hypocrite. I do owe one person a heart felt apology. I am truly sorry.
Divorce, being a biological mom, and being a step mom are very hard tasks, none of which has the right answer. There are no perfect situations, no perfect relationships.
My relationship with my children's step mom has happened over time and maturity. This has been a walk that has taken 2 steps forward and 3 back at times. It happens when both people put forth the effort, true effort. Is it easy, NO. In the beginning I thought that the effort that I was putting forth was enough...it was not. I had to learn to take chances and trust when I was unsure.
I am grateful and happy where we are now. She is a big part of my children's lives. She helps raise them and teach them every day. She loves them unconditionally, and that is very comforting to me.
No one ever said all situations should be as mine is. They are not perfect. I am not perfect. Mistakes happen. There are bumps (even large holes) that are stumbled into along the way. Sometimes we handle them with grace other times not. There are times that I have had to forgive someone and others where I am asking for forgiveness myself. This is very humbling and hard to do.
There are no exact situations, no manual. Just trying the best you can daily and hoping for the best.