if you only knew

Tyler,

If you only knew the love I had for you when you were born was unimaginable to a first time mother. But even more, that the love I have for you now is so much greater then it was that day.

If you only knew that I would go into your room at night to check on you, to make sure you were breathing and then go back in 1 more time...just to check.

If you only knew the fear that I had when you first started walking. That I followed you around to make sure that you did not fall, but if you did, I would pick you up. That the tears that came with the bumps and bruises along the way, broke my heart.

If you only knew how proud I was when you said your first word, or discovered something new, or completed a new task.

If you only knew that as you have grown from a baby, to a child, to now a young man that my love and admiration grows for you everyday.

If you only knew that your smile alone can change a bad day to the best day in the world.

If you only knew that watching and caring for you as you grow is not only a priveledge but the best job in the world.

If you only knew that the differences in our opinions have given me insight and made me a better person.

If you only knew that every time I get to sing your bedtime song and say prayers are moments that I will cherish forever.

If you only knew that I would give anything to make sure that you grew up happy and knowing how much you are loved.

If you only knew how hard it is for me to watch you grow up, and not help you when you need to learn by trial and error. To watch you make mistakes and suffer consequences. To watch you hurt is the worst pain I have ever felt. To know that I cannot fix something for you is the hardest thing ever.

So on your 10th birthday, son, know that you are the light of my life. You are one of God's precious gifts that I have had the priveledge to raise and call my own. I hope you know how much I love you and that love grows more everyday. UNCONDITIONALLY.

I love you...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tyler and I 10 years ago


Tyler and I now